I am a working mom.
Some days I love this and some days I hate this.
Mostly I love it when I really get to do my job well. Those few and far between days when I catch something early in a medical case, or a patient thanks me for care or for not making them hurt when I do a lab draw. Every once in a while talking down an anxious patient or having someone say your are their favorite nurse. Those times when you feel like you are most proficient at your job. And the days that you come home energized instead of drained. Those days are nice too.
Mostly I hate it because I feel like I don't get to spend enough time devoted just to my little buddy. I feel guilty when his speech development is behind, that maybe I am not talking to him enough. I feel like a complete and total pile of refuse when he chooses his dad over me to comfort him when he wakes up after sleeping on his arm and putting it to sleep (and I shouldn't feel like that, but I do). And any time I try to get things done around the house and he comes and grabs my hand to pull on my finger and take me where he wants me to hang out with him I feel like the worst mom in the world.
There are usually piles of dishes on the counter. The floor doesn't get swept or vacuumed nearly as often as it should. There are generally toys littered in unexpected places all over our tiny apartment and PLEASE don't check under the couch, cause who knows what's under there!
Also, its ridiculously hard to make friends with other moms. The ones who have time to be friends with me are SAHMs and honestly, I just don't have that much in common with them usually. I can't go anywhere during the day. I don't have time to pinterest make cupcakes or arrange crafts or run to playdates for my kid. And the other working moms don't have time to be friends with me either.
I literally am doing really good if I get all my bills payed on time, balance the accounts, get groceries for the week, keep the house mostly picked up, and manage to get a semi-decent amount of sleep at night. (showers should probably be there somewhere on that list too, right? Meh, that's why they created deodorant...) This doesn't even count all the other things that I need to do: call such and such business about card that didn't work, talk to insurance about changes, file paperwork for visas/name changes/taxes/etc (it varies), work with my son on his language skills, make nutritious meals, make lunches for everyone for the next day, exercise, organize the house, general house cleaning, those dang dishes that need washed every stinkin' day, and so many more things that come up...
I have been trying (unsuccessfully) to lose weight ever since my son was born. Its almost 2 years now. I had a breakdown about it the other day and when I started listing everything that I have to get done in a week, it made me sound like I needed to be freaking Wonder Woman! I'm not saying that to be proud, in the moment it was completely overwhelming (especially when you are failing at it).
Let me just stop here and say that my husband (and I do thank God for him pretty much daily) is a huge help. But there are some things that I just need to do myself to make sure that they are done. Yes, yes, I need to stop micro-managing everything but there are some things only I can organize in a way that makes sense. Or I can not find things for 3 weeks because my husband organized it and doesn't know what it is that he organized so he doesn't know where he put it... which is always fun too!
All this to say, if you are a working mom and feel overwhelmed by all of this... I hear you.
You are not failing.
This is undoubtedly one of the hardest places to be in life and you are doing everything in your power to make it work. Its like doing 2 jobs in 1, and can I just say that being a full time mom is already super time/energy consuming. You are plus 40 hours a week. Wonder Woman ain't got nothin' on you.
You go girl!
And as my gracious and wise husband told me, there are seasons for everything. Maybe it isn't my season to be able to concentrate on losing weight right now. I can do what I can, but there will be a season coming up where that is going to be more workable and then we will tackle it together. (I know, he's a keeper). We are both responsible for this little buddy, for our house, for the bills, etc and we have to get it all done together. Sometimes there isn't enough time in the day for everything you need to do and sometimes there just isn't enough energy.
Sometimes I desperately need to just curl up on the couch with little buddy or hubby and not have to do anything but listen to music or read a book together. Sometimes we need to forget all the dishes and laundry that need done and just run off to the park together.
Don't ever let the list of things you need to get done get in the way of connecting with the people that you love the most. I can have the most pristine house, but if my son and husband don't feel loved by me, then none of it was worth it.
So if you come over to my house and its messier than it should be, I'll probably apologize to be polite, but really, I don't regret my choices for even a moment!
Proudly a Working Mom
