i also own a rather extensive collection of gingerbread men. the collection i believe originated during my high school years upon a trip to branson, misery to silver dollar city.
i almost always sleep with earrings in, unless of course i was wearing big dangly ones that day, in which case i usually take them out at night. then i forget to put any in the next day, and when i absent-mindedly reach for them during the middle of the day it absolutely drives me crazy that i am not wearing any.
which reminds me... whenever i am away from home i wear a heart shaped locket with my parents picture in it. and i wear it all the time.
i secretly really like minimalism... though to look at me or anything i have you really wouldn't guess it.
i am paranoid about being thought of as the "smart" one. i know, its a leftover effect from being homeschooled. i try really hard to excel and then hate it when anyone mentions it.
i love cooking and hate doing dishes. i love mountain dew and hate energy drinks.
speaking of energy drinks... i once did two shots of 5 hour energy in a row. the only side effects were REM while fully conscious and a hangovery type feeling for 30min the next morning.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Song Writer?
This is the second day in a row that I have randomly started writing songs... what in the world?
They aren't like chart toppers or anything, just random, Deborah/Miriam style songs... and so far I haven't written any of them down. Does that count as still writing them?
They aren't like chart toppers or anything, just random, Deborah/Miriam style songs... and so far I haven't written any of them down. Does that count as still writing them?
Monday, August 10, 2009
Take 17
So, this is, I believe the 17th try at writing something since coming back from UG. Every time I start I get snagged... maybe on the fact that a lot of things changed, and yet nothing did. How is one supposed to sort through that and figure out what to keep and what to cast aside. I think I'll just start listing things I've heard and learned and seen, and see how far I get.
1. Love: God totally reminded me about the depths and heights and indescribablness of His love (p.s. yes that is a word). I'm not sure that I appreciated all of His methods of doing that. One of them involved the death of my uncle in my absence, one of them involved way too much thinking time alone. But there were good reminders, like the sermon at my friend's church one sunday, and the love of the brotheren that got showered out. The love that people that I should hate and I showered on each other, evidence of the power of God's forgivenness. Really powerful stuff. Huge reminders to live every day fully dwelling in God's love, to pour into other's lives out of my excess overflow of that love, and leave the results to God.
2. Drama: its all around us every day. We have to make a conscious desicion to either ignore the elephant in the corner, make the biggest deal about it possible throwing peannuts at it and poking it alternately, or... and imagine a world where people did this!... actually just deal with it! So many people blow things out of porportion. I don't have the patience for that. If there is a problem, lets deal with it. Lets freakin' quit leaving everything unresolved, undiscussed, and undone.
3. Comfort: is overrated. Give me a brick and stucco house, a charcoal stove, and a hole in the ground out back. That's living. Not to say that I don't appreciate what I have here in the US... just that its overrated. When we get to a place where we can't change, adapt, do with less... then we have failed in our Christian walk. (yes, i realize that is a hugely bold statement, but think about it...) To the extent that we are not able to give up anything, everything, all our comforts, for the sake of Christ, then how can we possibly think that we will be okay with giving up all of our selves our very lives for the sake of Christ?? Yes, it does sometimes give me pause. Especially when I think of the verse where Christ says that whoever is not willing to give up mother and brothers for His sake was not worthy of the kingdom of heaven. But then I remember what He gave up for me... and I lift open hands... take all of me.
4. Grade school was good (primary school). Remember back in the day when you didn't have a car, or tuition, or bills, or significant others, or where your next meal would come from to worry about?? Yeah, those were the good old days!
1. Love: God totally reminded me about the depths and heights and indescribablness of His love (p.s. yes that is a word). I'm not sure that I appreciated all of His methods of doing that. One of them involved the death of my uncle in my absence, one of them involved way too much thinking time alone. But there were good reminders, like the sermon at my friend's church one sunday, and the love of the brotheren that got showered out. The love that people that I should hate and I showered on each other, evidence of the power of God's forgivenness. Really powerful stuff. Huge reminders to live every day fully dwelling in God's love, to pour into other's lives out of my excess overflow of that love, and leave the results to God.
2. Drama: its all around us every day. We have to make a conscious desicion to either ignore the elephant in the corner, make the biggest deal about it possible throwing peannuts at it and poking it alternately, or... and imagine a world where people did this!... actually just deal with it! So many people blow things out of porportion. I don't have the patience for that. If there is a problem, lets deal with it. Lets freakin' quit leaving everything unresolved, undiscussed, and undone.
3. Comfort: is overrated. Give me a brick and stucco house, a charcoal stove, and a hole in the ground out back. That's living. Not to say that I don't appreciate what I have here in the US... just that its overrated. When we get to a place where we can't change, adapt, do with less... then we have failed in our Christian walk. (yes, i realize that is a hugely bold statement, but think about it...) To the extent that we are not able to give up anything, everything, all our comforts, for the sake of Christ, then how can we possibly think that we will be okay with giving up all of our selves our very lives for the sake of Christ?? Yes, it does sometimes give me pause. Especially when I think of the verse where Christ says that whoever is not willing to give up mother and brothers for His sake was not worthy of the kingdom of heaven. But then I remember what He gave up for me... and I lift open hands... take all of me.
4. Grade school was good (primary school). Remember back in the day when you didn't have a car, or tuition, or bills, or significant others, or where your next meal would come from to worry about?? Yeah, those were the good old days!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Back in the US of A
Yes, I am officially back in the good old US of A. Not yet really sure if that's a good thing or not. Someone asked me the other day how it felt to be back "home" (meaning the US of course) and I had to pause for a couple minutes... My final answer was "bittersweet".
I talked to my mom about this the other day. How last year I went through a huge period of mourning for what I had lost, trying to make sense of being in the US, culture shock, not wanted to return, trying to be dependent again instead of independent, etc... But at the root of all my problems last year was this little girl that just was rebelling against where God had put her. She wanted to be in Africa, and He had sent her back to the US. She knew all His reasons why, but that didn't make it anymore of her wish to be there than if she hadn't known.
Funny thing is... I wonder now if I ever actually got over that longing and rebellion... I kinda don't think so. Part of the reason I was so determined to go back this summer. Not all, I still had legit reasons to go, and actually some leading from the Lord on that... but def a part.
I talked to my mom about this the other day. How last year I went through a huge period of mourning for what I had lost, trying to make sense of being in the US, culture shock, not wanted to return, trying to be dependent again instead of independent, etc... But at the root of all my problems last year was this little girl that just was rebelling against where God had put her. She wanted to be in Africa, and He had sent her back to the US. She knew all His reasons why, but that didn't make it anymore of her wish to be there than if she hadn't known.
Funny thing is... I wonder now if I ever actually got over that longing and rebellion... I kinda don't think so. Part of the reason I was so determined to go back this summer. Not all, I still had legit reasons to go, and actually some leading from the Lord on that... but def a part.
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