Spiders

(this post is dedicated to Kia, because i wrote about her roaches although i have an equally catastrophic problem. and this post is also dedicated to Daveed, because he hates spiders, and i like laughing at him about that.)
*CAUTION* this post contains material that may be disturbing, if not slightly disgusting to some readers, and may induce the urge to vomit.

i'm a nice person, really i am. but i do draw the line at wolf spiders.
as much as i hate, loathe, and abominate cockroaches... these guys are living terrors.
so this is a word to your spiders.

if you dare to step foot in my house: i. will. kill. you.

this is not a threat. this is a promise. consider yourself warned.

and lest you think that these spiders are sadly misunderstood... this is what may happen to your thumb if you care to shake hands with this less than cordial species of arachnid.

(hey, i'm a nurse. what kind of pictures did you expect?)

yeah, so the one that tried to come in under my door tonight... met a gory, violent end against the underside of my african flipflop. take that spiders!

The Dilemma of Desire

"I think it would be good to mention that sometimes there is a 'waiting period' after a devastating loss before the heart is healed and open to a deep level of desire again. A fresh and present grief makes desire look like a fool. Who in their right mind would want to get up and do it all over again? But that's not what desire is demanding- its simply saying, 'breathe again. Let beauty heal you... Allow it passage. Notice joy sprouting here and there. God's tenderness and mercy will slowly unravel the ache- it is a much better route than attempting to tranquilize your heart in numbness, which won't work anyway. Simply receive the gentleness of God and as your heart is restored, desire will naturally spring forth again."

I was reading in my journey of desire journal biblestudy today and kept getting hit with how much our real hearts desires get us down time and time again. Even those that God has planted in our hearts for good can often be used by the devil to make us pursue an end that we vainly try and use to replace the beautiful desire that we originally had from our Father. But the sad thing that I realized is how often I don't even know how to recognize this when it happens. Like I just think its all the devil and reject all of it not realizing that at the heart of the matter is actually something that God wants to teach me about how he created my heart. Like when I have a tendency to be a people-pleaser, but God has actually built into my nature a deep love and sensitivity to the feelings of others. And no, its not there so I can bend over and let people walk all over my beliefs and values, but so that I can understand how to be all things to all people and to love them like Jesus does.
Anyway that's my thoughts for today, and since I typed all of this on my incredibly small blackberry keyboard, I'm going to call it quits now so my thumbs don't go into spasms. The Lord bless each and every one of you as He carries you too on a journey of desire towards the ultimate destination: His heart.

In other news, I've been decrying the fact that my ipod died while I was in Africa and I've been unable to resurrect it, but I just figured out how to download pandora to my blackberry and I can now listen to Christian tunes in my car again!!! Which just got me really psyched!

No Looking Back

Isaiah 43: 18-19
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."