Red Suede Curtains

So about a year ago, I bought some red suede curtains for the front window in our living room. I like them, they match the red wall in the kitchen, and they are fairly maintenance free.
However... when I bought them i purchased some that would go on the current fixtures. Okay, that would have been fine except... the current fixtures include three light wood curtain rod holders and a curtain rod that is missing its ball-stopper-thingy on one end.
This in and of itself would be okay, but this curtain rod should more accurately called curtain rod"s"... See, for some odd reason it is not one rod but two... The only way that it stays up is if you very delicately balance the two ends of the rods next to each other atop the one middle rod holder and pray that a strong wind doesn't blow... or none of the dogs run behind the couch!
I was messing with them however today (very delicately of course) because when the curtains are closed, it really decreases the light in our front room. As I was gingerly pulling them back to expose the shades and glass on the other side I couldn't help but notice that a lot of things in my life are exactly like those curtains.
For as long as I can remember I have built, constructed, written, embroidered, cooked, and loved things that are delicate. My siblings used to make fun of me, because although I could make some pretty stellar Lego creations... they were always flimsy. You had to play with them VERY delicately or they would fall to millions of pieces in your hands. Awesome 4 story castle with dungeon, secret passageway, and fully functioning drawbridge + play with it a little too roughly = pile of multicolored bricks. My clothing construction projects were not much better. I can make a mean shirt, skirt, jacket, or even duffle-bag. However, as my mother (and extremely patient home-ec teacher) can attest to: my facings are rarely tacked down, my seams on the inside are sloppy, and I don't reinforce my stitching, or top-stitch like I should. Cooking... well, don't even start on that... I can't even begin to describe how many cakes were stuck together with frosting... how many loves of bread fell in the oven because my yeast making skills were not quite up to par, or I was sloppy on how long I mixed the ingredients.
As I was contemplating all this that has been kind of my life story, I realized that the problem goes a whole lot deeper than that. The same things happen in my relationships too... I build them on flimsy things and when those get tested, I end up with a pile of Lego pieces where a beautiful monument to friendship was built. I do that with God things sometimes to. I try so hard to reach for some concept, grow in some area that I keep building up when God is still trying to get me to build out. He knows I need a firm foundation instead of a tottering but beautiful tower. In His divine wisdom He knows that I can't stand the pressures of life that way.
In a way its exactly like the man who built his house on the sand in the parable. If I didn't have a firm foundation to begin with, its absolutely useless to keep building. Its temporary.
I think that I have seen God take a lot of my "sand-houses" (if you will) down to ruins recently. Some of the materials are salvageable, some are not. Either way, this time we are starting over, and together, gonna build this house upon unshifting Rock.
And to think... I got all that from opening my curtains to let in the afternoon sun. I think I might go get a new rod...

Quote of the Day

"twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do that by the ones that you did do. so throw off the bowlines. sail away from the safe harbor. catch the trade winds in your sails. explore. dream. hope." -- mark twain

This was the quote of the day on my calendar. I don't know if I like it or not. At first when I read it I did, and then I didn't, and then I did again, and now... I don't think I agree with all of it.

I won't tell you completely why because I think you should make your own decision. What do you think of this quote? I'm interested in all responses...

Encouragement

Am I the only one who keeps certain things around me just because they are encouraging? What's that you say? Oh, funny, I thought not. I know you do it too.
Here's part of my fun collection.

* There's an e-mail that I keep at the front of my inbox after I am done filing and deleting. Its title is "al' ittle love", and its an e-mail from my 10 year old brother telling me how to use emoticons on g-mail. I don't even have to open it to be encouraged. Just the title alone reminds me that I am loved, (and respected) by a 10 year old boy.
* I got a flip calendar from my sister-in-law as part of a gift for being a bridesmaid in her wedding. It has all kinds of little sayings on it. I try to flip it every day to see if there is anything encouraging. Sometimes there isn't, but I usually check anyway. She also gave me a little book about being God's Princess. I can't tell you how many times I flip that book open to the next page and almost cry from reading the promises and love that my God has for me.
* Behind my hp scanner/printer combo (which REALLY comes in handy for school) hangs a map of Kampala city (generated interestingly enough from copies made on said hp from the back of the map of Uganda that hangs above my coat rack!). Looking at that map reminds me of the places and faces I need to pray for. But its also encouraging, because that place holds a promise of God for my life. :) Actually if you look around my room... above my bed is a shelf with a sign that says "P-R-A-Y" flanked by a giraffe and an elephant, above a banana leaf relief of the continent of Africa, a peice of African art, and the verse "Delight yourself in me and I will give you the desires of your heart". Scattered around my room are pictures of my family and friends. People I pray for on a consistent basis, and ones I know pray for me too. What an encouragement!
* This is silly, but in my kitchen the walls are beige... except for one wall. It's red. Brilliant red. I love that one red wall. I think it speaks to my heart and my love of being the rebel and delighting in being different.
* In my car, directly behind the steering wheel is a very faded peice of paper. At one time it was cute and scrapbooky looking... now it is all but unreadable. It looks like this "For to me, to ____ is ______, to _____ is _____". I bet you can guess what the blanks used to say before the colored ink faded in the sun. I put that in my car when I first got it because, for one thing I wanted to consecrate my car to God (I figured if I gave it to Him, He'd take better care of it than me), but also because one of my biggest fears in life was getting in a car accident. In fact I used to have nightmares about being in a moving car and not being able to stop it while I watched in slow motion as me or my little siblings sped head on towards imminent danger! For about a month, every time that I got into that car, I read that verse. Somewhere along the way the truth of it started to sink in. I still read it every once in a while, but the fear of death is gone for me. Now, its just pure encouragement of the hope that I have.

So... can you think of anything that you keep around you just cause its encouraging to your heart? If not... then wow... you need to get a life! And I mean that in the nicest sense.
I actually was thinking about this because one of my New Year's resolutions... (which actually had nothing to do with it being a new physical year... but a new spiritual year)... was to be more encouraging to the people around me. So I was thinking of blessings in my life that I could use to be blessings to others. So far its been absolutely amazing and I am thoroughly being encouraged by encouraging others as well! Sweet returns!

random convo...

one of my coworkers to me -- "So you don't have a boyfriend, you don't have any babies, and you don't drink... What do you do for fun?"
me to her -- laughs, then adds more thoughtfully "That's all that's fun in your life?"

*just a small wake up call for those of us who don't always see the complete and total desperateness of those around us for something, anything to make their life count for something. to be fun. just for tonight, this week, this month, this year. how often do we miss their cries out for some hint of a life that has something more.