"You must learn to be happy here," the tortoise told him one day, "For it is doubtful you shall ever find this sea of yours."
I have a hard time with this. How many times have I been told the same thing and accepted it as another reminder that I need to be content in Christ. Is it possible that I am attempting to suppress a desire that never should be suppressed? And that God had intended instead to use for my growth? He places desires in all of us. When did I decide to reject the desires He has given me in place of 'being content'? Does that not sound a lot like complacency as well? Cause heavens to Betsy! That is for def sure not the direction I want to be headed in! In pursuit of those dreams that God has instilled in me, have a simply given up choosing instead to sit in a well of mediocrity and stagnation instead of active participation in the fulfillment of said dreams and aspirations? I find myself dangerously skating the line! I guess I would rather that I was a depressed dreamer than a complacent realist! At least I would still be hanging to some shred of hope that those dreams were obtainable! Currently I find myself just attempting to distract myseld from feeling to strongly the urge to dream or to dwell on those dreams. And it doesn't just apply to my spiritual life, it applies to my relationships, to my plans for the future, for my job furtherment (yeah, not sure that's a word). It drags on and on in to every area of life. And I feel lifeless because of it. Lack of hope for the future often ends up looking quite gaunt and languid. Such is the state I am currently finding myself in. I know the secret to the cure though. Conscious choosing to open my heart again to all the dreams and desires that God would place on my heart! Excitement! This could get crazy again!
