Adventures of Joy

I know that I was really upset after loosing my other job, but I would just like to go on record and say that God is so amazingly good!
I love my new job. I love the little boy I take care of. I love getting to interact with all the kids at school. I love the my 3 day weekends and being able to go to all my church activities. I love the absolute stress-free-ness! I even love the 1/2 hour drive to and from work every day (my own personal prayer closet).
God has really, really blessed me. I really just don't even know how else to explain it other than that!
It seems like every time something goes wrong in my life recently He really works it out in a way that is beautiful. I lost my job; I get a better paying job that I love more. He breaks relationships and rebuilds them. My car won't start, but I know what the problem is and can fix it myself. I am broke beyond belief, but I can still scrape enough together to bless someone in more need. The door isn't open to go to Africa yet (which breaks my heart), but I get to live with 4 amazing sisters from VFS next year (which aside from being a huge blessing and chance for me to be a blessing, also gives me an opportunity to honor my father's advice).
And the joy doesn't stop! I guess that's the part that I love the most. Well, I don't guess, I know. I think my face looks 2 years younger when I see it these days. The worry and stress is just gone and with it the unseemly lines that accompanied them. Funny how seeking God leads us directly to that kind of peace and joy!
I guess that isn't really a very good, nice long, meaningful post like I usually like to write... but that's what's up with me and also why I haven't really posted on here recently. I guess I've been too busy loving and living life!

Unsearchable

"Come out by yourself and be clean," You have said
And I have desired it
That purity that dives so deep and cleans out all the muck
That I've made of the beauty You intended for my life
And sometimes I fear that when You see the mess
You'll sigh and give up on me
Cause I know that I would
Which is yet another reason its good I'm not God
You don't give up though, even when I try to
When I backslide and struggle and fail.
Yet again.
You always take me back, give me another chance,
Love me still.
What kind of person does that?
I mean, its just stupid according to this world.
You don't keep loving people who hurt you,
Let alone a delinquent wife who constantly whore's herself.
And I am no better than Isreal
No different than Hosea's wife...
And you have loved me yet.
How can I comprehend that?
Let alone accept is as true,
A Love that never changes?
I've had only small, minuscule  tastes of such a Love
And not near enough to think it might be real
But You keep teaching me to believe in it
That You aren't going to go anywhere.
You are constant and unchanging as the morning sun.
As steady as the ocean tide coming in.
Yet You aren't tame.
You aren't safe.
Ironically You are as many different things as it is possible to be
Yet above all: unsearchable,
Un-understandable.