Reconciliation

I am pretty sure that I mentioned in a former post about how the relationships in my life have been quite strained as of late.
Enter Christmas... and you officially have me with an intense feeling of stress and almost dread. I didn't want a season of giving or where everyone would be happy! I honestly just wanted to wallow in my own resentment, bitterness, and self-pity.
Enter Jesus Christ... See when Christ originally came to the world, it sure as heck wasn't a world that was perfect! There was a reason they were looking for a Messiah, may I remind you! Here's the deal, we live in a very imperfect world, with VERY imperfect people... (And before you think that was directed at someone, I would just like to say that that finger was pointing straight at me! You have no idea how much I fail at life in general, not to mention the life that I should be walking in, in Christ!)
So, would Someone who had come to "save" us, really be content with my wallowing?? Resounding "NO".
He is never content to let His children wallow. Especially in mires of their own making (and I could argue that all mires are of our own making...) But the truth remains, God didn't like my attitude... and more than that, He didn't like my apathy in my attitude.
I think that emotions are a dangerous thing... not that God necessarily thinks that, its just me... I think that between me and God, resentment and bitterness are easily dealt with. It's this stupid self-pity that gets me every time... Cause with it, it brings a sense of apathy that says, "You poor child, none of this is your fault, hence there is no way for you to make it right. You poor, accursed child. Why do they torture you so?" Got to be one of the biggest lines of B.S. (pardon the French) that the devil likes to feed me!!
Something that God has been working on teaching me all last semester (well, and back into the summer) is the authority that I have in Christ. In Christ, I am not confined to low living, getting by, skating under the surface, making no ripples... etc...
No, He has called me to victorious living! I think that the authority that He gives me is exactly opposite to the apathy that I like to wallow in! Reminds me of what one of my dear brothers in Christ reminded me of this summer... That in Christ, I have absolutely no need of timidity or fear! It simply shouldn't exist in my vocabulary!
This authority in Christ is also my freedom in Christ. If I don't truly understand the authority of Christ in my life, in situations, over others lives, or even over the spiritual world around me, there is absolutely no way that I can really experience Christ's freedom.
So... this Christmas, I made the choice to live in Christ's authority instead of wallowing in my own apathy and self-pity. First of all, the freedom that it brought was... well... incomprehensible. I still don't understand the peace and love for people that flooded my soul. Second, the authority that I had in Christ, left me with the freedom to reach out in love, with no idea or expectation as to the consequences or outcomes. And amazingly enough, God also chose to reconcile every single one of the relationships that I had been so worried about. In ways that I couldn't even imagine, or hope for. Isn't my God good??