Welcome to my first attempt at video blogging...
depending on the response to this vid, I might consider doing it more often. If nothing else you can join me in laughing at the hilarious bunch that I call my family!!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Like it, Love it, Want lots more of it!
So I have been reading everyone else's blogs about KC and specifically the "Murder Factory" section of the city.
First off, I guess I should display my ignorance of there even being such a neighborhood. No, I never watch the news, or read the KC Star (except the cryptoquips), and unlike so many of the Ichthus community, have no relational ties with it... and so am largely unfamiliar with "the City". (I guess everything is up to date there??)
Secondly, WOW!! I am so super stoked for what is anticipated happening there! My spiritual heart is so full with excitement for all involved! I see God really raising a banner of freedom and hope in that area. A standard of Chirst's love and the power of His blood over generations of bloodshed!
So, yeah, I totally followed the link from Liz's blog and read all about the area. My heart broke with the absolute hopelessness of people in that neighborhood. To the point where all they want to do is get out! I read it last night, and it was still so heavy on my heart this morning that I spent a better part of my morning in prayer for it. (and I'm not saying that to sound all "spiritual", but to demonstrate how it really is on my heart, even when I know so little about it)
I guess I should also clarify that the "heavy on my heart" isn't like a crushing weight, like usually I have in such situations, but a burden that feels so filled with joy and hope... sorry, guess I don't know how to explain it besides that... Just that when I sayburden, I don't mean a depressive burden.
I think that God isn't calling me to go there, but that He definitely is calling me to prayer for the area. As such, I think it would be awesome to go there sometime and prayer walk the area. But we'll see...
Right now, my excitement for what God would look to do is incredibly huge!
Like it, Love it, Want lots more of it! -- lets not be afraid to ask God to do big things again and again! And how completely awesome to be willing to live sacrificially in such a major way! Ah, man, I applaud that from the bottom of my heart! Truly sold out to God!
First off, I guess I should display my ignorance of there even being such a neighborhood. No, I never watch the news, or read the KC Star (except the cryptoquips), and unlike so many of the Ichthus community, have no relational ties with it... and so am largely unfamiliar with "the City". (I guess everything is up to date there??)
Secondly, WOW!! I am so super stoked for what is anticipated happening there! My spiritual heart is so full with excitement for all involved! I see God really raising a banner of freedom and hope in that area. A standard of Chirst's love and the power of His blood over generations of bloodshed!
So, yeah, I totally followed the link from Liz's blog and read all about the area. My heart broke with the absolute hopelessness of people in that neighborhood. To the point where all they want to do is get out! I read it last night, and it was still so heavy on my heart this morning that I spent a better part of my morning in prayer for it. (and I'm not saying that to sound all "spiritual", but to demonstrate how it really is on my heart, even when I know so little about it)
I guess I should also clarify that the "heavy on my heart" isn't like a crushing weight, like usually I have in such situations, but a burden that feels so filled with joy and hope... sorry, guess I don't know how to explain it besides that... Just that when I sayburden, I don't mean a depressive burden.
I think that God isn't calling me to go there, but that He definitely is calling me to prayer for the area. As such, I think it would be awesome to go there sometime and prayer walk the area. But we'll see...
Right now, my excitement for what God would look to do is incredibly huge!
Like it, Love it, Want lots more of it! -- lets not be afraid to ask God to do big things again and again! And how completely awesome to be willing to live sacrificially in such a major way! Ah, man, I applaud that from the bottom of my heart! Truly sold out to God!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Schizophrenia
I know... I know... how cliche can you get, but... my heart and my head are fighting again.
It has to do with this beautiful thing called life and how it ought to be lived.
See part of me wants to get every little tiny eensy weensy drop of fullness and funness out of it; to pour out myself for people, to laugh often, love well, forgive unconditionally, dance in the rain... you know... the usual.
The other part of me... hmm... not so much. More like the part of me that tells me I should be studying for my practicum tomorrow instead of typing this blog post. The part of me that wanted me to get quit chatting earlier when I needed to go study before class, cringes when I get less than a B on a test, kicks herself in the foot for not attending to details, freaks out about the $228 ticket, can't stand how messy she lets her apartment get, decries the general state of her finances, car, and dresser... and so on.
Now anyone who has known me for any length of time at all knows that the first one does not in the least sound like me. First of all, it's cliche... and I HATE cliche! But second, I am the safe one. Yes, I am that friend... the one that always has to remind you that whatever you are doing at the time, that is terribly dangerous and foolhardy, shall probably not only break your neck, but also get you in a ton of trouble. I'm the girl that freaks out to the point of giving herself ulcers over stupid test scores. Cries when she fails things, can't function with clutter, packs things for trips weeks in advance.
Yeah, that's the normal me.
So where did this other person come from? And how do we send her back?!?
I'm not sure that I know what to do with this new "cliche" that abandons school for relationships, work for family, her own comfort for fun... She's downright unnerving to the conservative, responsible me!! But really, when all is said and done, she values people over accomplishments, God over comfort, and simplicity over elaboration. Its a mind shift, but maybe a heart one as well. God has been working on me... I know that. And I don't yet see what He's doing with all the puzzle peices... and the picture doesn't make any sense yet. In fact those perfectly placed peices in the middle with no connections are downright awkward. But I trust fully that God has a plan for them as well!
I feel more alive than ever... and I don't think that I would want to stop this transformation for the world!
It has to do with this beautiful thing called life and how it ought to be lived.
See part of me wants to get every little tiny eensy weensy drop of fullness and funness out of it; to pour out myself for people, to laugh often, love well, forgive unconditionally, dance in the rain... you know... the usual.
The other part of me... hmm... not so much. More like the part of me that tells me I should be studying for my practicum tomorrow instead of typing this blog post. The part of me that wanted me to get quit chatting earlier when I needed to go study before class, cringes when I get less than a B on a test, kicks herself in the foot for not attending to details, freaks out about the $228 ticket, can't stand how messy she lets her apartment get, decries the general state of her finances, car, and dresser... and so on.
Now anyone who has known me for any length of time at all knows that the first one does not in the least sound like me. First of all, it's cliche... and I HATE cliche! But second, I am the safe one. Yes, I am that friend... the one that always has to remind you that whatever you are doing at the time, that is terribly dangerous and foolhardy, shall probably not only break your neck, but also get you in a ton of trouble. I'm the girl that freaks out to the point of giving herself ulcers over stupid test scores. Cries when she fails things, can't function with clutter, packs things for trips weeks in advance.
Yeah, that's the normal me.
So where did this other person come from? And how do we send her back?!?
I'm not sure that I know what to do with this new "cliche" that abandons school for relationships, work for family, her own comfort for fun... She's downright unnerving to the conservative, responsible me!! But really, when all is said and done, she values people over accomplishments, God over comfort, and simplicity over elaboration. Its a mind shift, but maybe a heart one as well. God has been working on me... I know that. And I don't yet see what He's doing with all the puzzle peices... and the picture doesn't make any sense yet. In fact those perfectly placed peices in the middle with no connections are downright awkward. But I trust fully that God has a plan for them as well!
I feel more alive than ever... and I don't think that I would want to stop this transformation for the world!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Uganda
Soooo...
I've been kinda hesitant to put this out there blatantly... (for several reasons)... but...
Okay, so any/all of you that have ever read my blog know that things are constantly popping up about... of all things... Africa!
See, last summer I went to Uganda with a group from K-State Ichthus. I had a really challenging, and completely amazing time! I can honestly say that there has never been a place besides my own hometown that I have felt so comfortable. (and let me tell you, if anywhere was going to be awkward, this would be the place... try being the only person with fair skin in sight! and I am one of those people that really can't STAND being the conspicuous) Long story-short, I felt drawn to the people, culture, way of life... And I think that God is calling me back there full-time.
Now, here's where it gets tricky... I know I am supposed to finish school, but after that... I've got nothing... I don't really know where I am supposed to go from there...
So this summer I am looking at going back. Partially because I miss all my brothers and sisters over there like CRAZY! And partially because I would really like to be able to line up some sort of capacity that I could work in over there as long term after I am done with school. (Again, much prayer needed on this topic; I am really looking for God to plop something in my lap here, as He has been so faithful to do!) And also because I really have a heart for service and pouring out love on these people. It doesn't take much to look into some of the eyes and see the absolute hurt that is written there! (and of course that is a huge motivator for someone with my spiritual giftings)
So this is what I am hesitant to throw out there... right now, I can't afford to go back over there this summer. I won't tell you all how much it will cost, cause to some extent you don't need to know. But what I really want to ask is that you will join me in prayer that God will supply exactly, to a penny, what is needed.
Oh, so you might want to know... right now, I am most likely going to be working with Village of Hope in Gulu. They have a home for kids that were orphaned because of/have run away from the LRA. But there may be a couple of other ministry opportunities in the works as well.
Also pray for people to be willing to go with me... The Village of Hope was expecting to have 110 high school students come work on building projects with them this summer, and they have had to back out. I personally am not up to doing the work of 110 wacky teens! But I think that any help we are able to provide will be a huge blessing to them!
Thanks all, you know how I appreciate the prayers!
I've been kinda hesitant to put this out there blatantly... (for several reasons)... but...
Okay, so any/all of you that have ever read my blog know that things are constantly popping up about... of all things... Africa!
See, last summer I went to Uganda with a group from K-State Ichthus. I had a really challenging, and completely amazing time! I can honestly say that there has never been a place besides my own hometown that I have felt so comfortable. (and let me tell you, if anywhere was going to be awkward, this would be the place... try being the only person with fair skin in sight! and I am one of those people that really can't STAND being the conspicuous) Long story-short, I felt drawn to the people, culture, way of life... And I think that God is calling me back there full-time.
Now, here's where it gets tricky... I know I am supposed to finish school, but after that... I've got nothing... I don't really know where I am supposed to go from there...
So this summer I am looking at going back. Partially because I miss all my brothers and sisters over there like CRAZY! And partially because I would really like to be able to line up some sort of capacity that I could work in over there as long term after I am done with school. (Again, much prayer needed on this topic; I am really looking for God to plop something in my lap here, as He has been so faithful to do!) And also because I really have a heart for service and pouring out love on these people. It doesn't take much to look into some of the eyes and see the absolute hurt that is written there! (and of course that is a huge motivator for someone with my spiritual giftings)
So this is what I am hesitant to throw out there... right now, I can't afford to go back over there this summer. I won't tell you all how much it will cost, cause to some extent you don't need to know. But what I really want to ask is that you will join me in prayer that God will supply exactly, to a penny, what is needed.
Oh, so you might want to know... right now, I am most likely going to be working with Village of Hope in Gulu. They have a home for kids that were orphaned because of/have run away from the LRA. But there may be a couple of other ministry opportunities in the works as well.
Also pray for people to be willing to go with me... The Village of Hope was expecting to have 110 high school students come work on building projects with them this summer, and they have had to back out. I personally am not up to doing the work of 110 wacky teens! But I think that any help we are able to provide will be a huge blessing to them!
Thanks all, you know how I appreciate the prayers!
Friday, March 6, 2009
I have no subject material...
So I really want to write a blog post today... I mean, the sun is shining down warmly on my back, the cool breeze is wafting in through the window... I have a full glass of Mt. Dew at my fingertips... and yet I have absolutely no subject material to speak of...
But if I could write a blog post about anything that I wanted, and I did have said stupendous things happening in my life... I guess it would be about discipleship.
I have been realizing recently the huge capacity that I have to be a peer discipler (better word for that, anyone?) here recently. And yet, I think that I fail at it so much because I either A.) think I don't have the time, or B.) think that I am not strong enough in my own faith, or C.) laziness.
But when I really think about it, I think it often comes down to fear. A.) fear of not fulfilling my own obligations, B.) fear of failure and insufficiency (quite honestly, not only of myself, but of God to carry me through, cause I know its not on me at all!), and C.) fear of having to leave my comfort zone and be self-less for once!
I really wish that I had a really cool discipleship story to tell you all. How God had stirred my heart for someone, and how we were able to hang out, share life, and come to know God better, just by living out our lives in communion...
Unfortunately, I don't currently have any stories of that nature...
But (as my UG friends like to say) watch this space! Cause I am planning on changing that at the earliest possible time!
But if I could write a blog post about anything that I wanted, and I did have said stupendous things happening in my life... I guess it would be about discipleship.
I have been realizing recently the huge capacity that I have to be a peer discipler (better word for that, anyone?) here recently. And yet, I think that I fail at it so much because I either A.) think I don't have the time, or B.) think that I am not strong enough in my own faith, or C.) laziness.
But when I really think about it, I think it often comes down to fear. A.) fear of not fulfilling my own obligations, B.) fear of failure and insufficiency (quite honestly, not only of myself, but of God to carry me through, cause I know its not on me at all!), and C.) fear of having to leave my comfort zone and be self-less for once!
I really wish that I had a really cool discipleship story to tell you all. How God had stirred my heart for someone, and how we were able to hang out, share life, and come to know God better, just by living out our lives in communion...
Unfortunately, I don't currently have any stories of that nature...
But (as my UG friends like to say) watch this space! Cause I am planning on changing that at the earliest possible time!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Irony
Every time that life really sucks in one aspect... seems like it is really grand in another.
For example, this last weekend, I worked all weekend, even picking up part of night shift. This severely impeded my study time that should have been devoted to my test on Monday. Not to mention that on Friday night I was in a funk and got no study work done at all!
But I just got back my test result from today, and I got a B. And work shifts didn't get crazy until after I left for the night... in fact we went and worked out in the gym to keep ourselves awake! How ironic!
I got a ticket last night on the way to work. It was a stupid ticket, not for speeding like a bat out of hell, like I normally am, but for passing a schoolbus that was parking, with a sun glare... I could swear the stopsign wasn't out, but the officer said it was. But I just got my backpay for a raise that I should have gotten last July... and it will cover it.
For example, this last weekend, I worked all weekend, even picking up part of night shift. This severely impeded my study time that should have been devoted to my test on Monday. Not to mention that on Friday night I was in a funk and got no study work done at all!
But I just got back my test result from today, and I got a B. And work shifts didn't get crazy until after I left for the night... in fact we went and worked out in the gym to keep ourselves awake! How ironic!
I got a ticket last night on the way to work. It was a stupid ticket, not for speeding like a bat out of hell, like I normally am, but for passing a schoolbus that was parking, with a sun glare... I could swear the stopsign wasn't out, but the officer said it was. But I just got my backpay for a raise that I should have gotten last July... and it will cover it.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Pet Peeves
So I was looking at my blog today, contemplating changing things up a little... reformat or something... anyway, I noticed that I had 14 posts for February. No big deal, right? Except that when you look at it, it says February (14)... which is Valentines Day, which is one of my pet peeves...
Hence this post!
I have a lot of pet peeves. Now don't hate; I'll bet you a three layer German chocolate cake that you do too! I think though that they are fun to isolate. (yeah, I know, I am one of those weird people that likes to be all introspective and such...) Anywhoooo....
#1. (and there is a reason that this is #1.) People following the letter of the law and not the spirit of the law. Especially in relation to scriptural principles... (I know, I sound like a weird radical liberal now... tsk, tsk: rebel!)
#2. Things that aren't even. This includes the curtains in my room (its a personal experiment to see how long I can stand their unevenness before I finally reach that breaking point and fix it!), how many crackers I take out of a package (seriously, I count them, and I never eat an odd number unless its just one), the number and color of things (yes, I do wear clothes out of my closet based on how many of one color are in there; and I always eat the popsicle color that has the most in the box, and I will pick out strategic m&m colors to maintain consistent numbers of each color), etc...
#3. Dirty socks. Nuff said? Surely I don't have to explain this... come on guys! I like to live in an alternate dimension in which dirty socks do not exist. I will go out of my way to not actually touch mine... let alone other people's... its just icky! (including picking up bundles of laundry and using the other clothes to pick up the socks) I also won't take socks off my residents without gloves, and even then, think extra handwashing AND alcohol disinfectant! (I know, how juvenile Jo!)
#4. People that hurt people that I love. I'll take a lot myself and usually forgive you, but the moment you start messing with someone I love... whoa, buddy! You better be ready to handle some righteous indignation! Familiar with the look of death??
#5. Sleeping without a blanket. Must be something I picked up when I was little, but I can't stand it if I don't have at least a sheet over me when I am sleeping, even if I am sleeping on the couch during a movie!
This is by no means an exhaustive list, I am sure that I will add more when I think of them, but that's enough for today!
Hence this post!
I have a lot of pet peeves. Now don't hate; I'll bet you a three layer German chocolate cake that you do too! I think though that they are fun to isolate. (yeah, I know, I am one of those weird people that likes to be all introspective and such...) Anywhoooo....
#1. (and there is a reason that this is #1.) People following the letter of the law and not the spirit of the law. Especially in relation to scriptural principles... (I know, I sound like a weird radical liberal now... tsk, tsk: rebel!)
#2. Things that aren't even. This includes the curtains in my room (its a personal experiment to see how long I can stand their unevenness before I finally reach that breaking point and fix it!), how many crackers I take out of a package (seriously, I count them, and I never eat an odd number unless its just one), the number and color of things (yes, I do wear clothes out of my closet based on how many of one color are in there; and I always eat the popsicle color that has the most in the box, and I will pick out strategic m&m colors to maintain consistent numbers of each color), etc...
#3. Dirty socks. Nuff said? Surely I don't have to explain this... come on guys! I like to live in an alternate dimension in which dirty socks do not exist. I will go out of my way to not actually touch mine... let alone other people's... its just icky! (including picking up bundles of laundry and using the other clothes to pick up the socks) I also won't take socks off my residents without gloves, and even then, think extra handwashing AND alcohol disinfectant! (I know, how juvenile Jo!)
#4. People that hurt people that I love. I'll take a lot myself and usually forgive you, but the moment you start messing with someone I love... whoa, buddy! You better be ready to handle some righteous indignation! Familiar with the look of death??
#5. Sleeping without a blanket. Must be something I picked up when I was little, but I can't stand it if I don't have at least a sheet over me when I am sleeping, even if I am sleeping on the couch during a movie!
This is by no means an exhaustive list, I am sure that I will add more when I think of them, but that's enough for today!
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