Desiring

DESIRING – June 7, 2015

It’s eating a hole of desperation into her soul

The lies of a million sweet summertime’s first kisses

And the taste of anxious anticipation they leave on the breathless tongue

Now realism wakes to find she has slept with transiency

A heartless lover which leaves here longing for more and less

More of that feeling of being completely awake

Dangerously conscious of anything and everything

And less of that same feeling, because its absence stabs deep

A ruthless wound which time fails to heal

Small pieces of naivety left raped and jaded

By the overwhelming sense of now feeling endlessly dead inside

The gut-wrenching product of realism’s one night stand

The culmination of a summer’s season on a dreamer’s soul

Awake, she barely feels

Asleep, she restlessly turns

There is no rest now for the martyred soul

There is no peace now for the wounded spirit

Another dawn greets her like a bad dream which she fails to wake from

Sunset finds her anxious for return to the sheets which give her no rest

She’s not tired of body, she’s tired of spirit

The mattress holds no cure for the yawning ache of her need for inner calm.

All too knowing that she has brought this on herself

A bad decision here, a false move there

Those times she should have walked away

Instead choosing to flirt with the edge of danger, to skate the rim

She finds that her tranquility has toppled over the precipice

While she remains teetering on the lip

Too top-heavy not to bobble, too weak to hold herself back

She looks over into the gaping blackness of her own demise

Contemplating the drop, the sudden crashing stop, and the end of feeling

Yet something holds her steady

Something begs her not to hurl herself into the abyss.

Something… or is it Someone?