Tuesday this last week marked an important occasion in my life: my dear mother's birthday. I tried to look for a card that would say what I wanted so desperately to tell her, but everything fell flat. I couldn't even find a good gift for her birthday. I was feeling rather discouraged, and so, as I often do, I sat down to write. I had originally intended to write a letter to her and try and say everything that I wanted to, but I kept getting interrupted and it wasn't flowing quite the way that I wanted it to.
The hard thing about writing to one's mom is that everything that you say, no matter how sincerely felt and meant, sounds like a cheesy Hallmark card. No matter how badly you want to tell her how much she means to you, its hard to fight past the cliche and actually say what you mean.
For example, I want to say thank you. But I can't just say "thank you", because even though that encompasses a vast myriad of situations, endless selfless giving on her part, and too many words of encouragement to count when I say it, there's a flatness to it that sounds so trite. The truth is that I am just so stinkin' blessed to have her as my mom, but even that doesn't begin to describe how I feel or how incredible she is to have in my life.
I was talking to my patient the other day about all the teachers that he has had and I got to tell him that I only had one. He was amazed when I explained that my mom was my only teacher. When I said that though, it got me to thinking and I realized how much she really did teach me. My Mom not only taught me school for grades K-12, which is a pretty daunting task, but I use so many other household skills that she taught me every day.
It seems sorta silly, but cooking is a lost art that my mom imparted me with not only a thorough knowledge of, but also a good healthy love for. I can proudly say that I can improvise, follow recipes, make passable homemade bread, and wow people with all the amazing recipes that she has passed on. She also taught me how to sew, another lost art, and passed on a respect for making things ones self. She loved making creative things for our birthdays every year, and used to delight in staying up late to put the finishing touches on a new church dress so I could wear it the next day. I'm still not great at sewing, but cross stitch, embroidery, and crafts we both enjoy. She taught me how to keep house, clean, and organize. While some may argue that those are lessons I didn't learn very well, I would just like to go on record and say that my implementation of said skills does not reflect the degree to which I learned those lessons nor should it reflect poorly on my teacher!
Growing up my mom was my idol. All I wanted to be when I grew up was a homemaker just like my mom. She taught me how to make a house a home, and to this day I never feel like people live in a place unless there are curtains on the windows and pictures on the walls. Dusty colors of blue always remind me of her, especially if there is a little rose colored accents. I love that she invented her own style of decorating that she calls "Victorian Country". She pulls of the concept beautifully, and it really suits her very well.
But my mom is not just a homemaker and homeschool teacher. She has this amazing alter-ego (pardon the comic book reference, Mom; I'm part Daddy too! *winks) which I like to think of as "PJ", the nickname that she used to go by. She collected the Family Circus comics that featured PJ and kept them around her room growing up. PJ I like to think of as the fun side of my mother. I think that sometimes when I was growing up I forgot about this side of her nature and it was easy to just see her as someone who was going to make me do schoolwork or chores, but I don't think the fun side of my mom was ever not there, even when I couldn't see it. Sometimes I like to shock people by telling them about the time that she dressed up with a blonde wig and different glasses and tricked people in her dorm for an entire semester into thinking she had another roommate. There is also the story about her killing a rat with her bare fist because it dared to run across her freshly cleaned kitchen counter. In high school she could change tires when the boys couldn't, raised calves for 4H, and embroidered Oscar Meyer hotdogs all over her jeans jacket. My mom truly likes to laugh and will surprise attack you with her wit when you are least expecting it. I love going by the name "Jo" partly because its her middle name.
I think the biggest thing though that my mom taught me has been in the area of character. I should rightfully say, continues to teach me, though, as I see her amazing example continued in every day life. She is a beautiful example of the gentle and quiet spirit that God so delights in. I would never say that my mom has had really flashy style or beauty queen hair and makeup. But she has something really beautiful about her that sparkles out of her gentle green eyes, and glistens off her now whitened hair, and belies itself in the soft smile creases of her face. You don't have to look very closely to see that her outward appearance gives away a wise and caring soul.
I've been so blessed for all the lessons that she has taught me about patience and love for her family, even when we were less than pleasant or obedient kids. She always has time to listen, and I can recall countless times in the kitchen, especially during nursing school where we cooked and I vented all my frustrations with school and studying. She always listened, encouraged, and spurred me on. She's also the most self-less person I know. My mom will go way out of her way to think of, pray for, and show love to the people that God has brought into her life.
My mom married my dad after college, and I really appreciate her commitment to their marriage. Its a really big blessing in this day and age to never even have to be slightly concerned about your parents parting ways. I am so blessed that I never had to worry about this growing up, as my mom showed me an excellent example of what it means to be a good wife as well. She was quick to model teamwork, self-less love, honoring her husband, and enjoying her husband's company. I could never hope to live up to her example, but want to with all my heart.
So, when it comes down to it, I should say thank you Mom. Thank you for all the love and care growing up. Thank you for being more than my mom now, but being my friend. I know I can always count on you to encourage me in my job or my creativity or even my dreams of someday down the road. Thank you for always listening, even when I'm hard to understand and don't make a lot of sense. Thank you for the example of a Godly woman that you have been in my life. Thank you for taking the time to teach me so many things.
I love you so much Mom and even though one silly blog post is not enough to say how much, I hope you know that you are loved and appreciated and respected.
Happy Birthday Mom.
With Love, Your Daughter, Jo
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