Yes, I am officially back in the good old US of A. Not yet really sure if that's a good thing or not. Someone asked me the other day how it felt to be back "home" (meaning the US of course) and I had to pause for a couple minutes... My final answer was "bittersweet".
I talked to my mom about this the other day. How last year I went through a huge period of mourning for what I had lost, trying to make sense of being in the US, culture shock, not wanted to return, trying to be dependent again instead of independent, etc... But at the root of all my problems last year was this little girl that just was rebelling against where God had put her. She wanted to be in Africa, and He had sent her back to the US. She knew all His reasons why, but that didn't make it anymore of her wish to be there than if she hadn't known.
Funny thing is... I wonder now if I ever actually got over that longing and rebellion... I kinda don't think so. Part of the reason I was so determined to go back this summer. Not all, I still had legit reasons to go, and actually some leading from the Lord on that... but def a part.
No comments:
Post a Comment