So, this week I am spending some extended time here in Larned at the State Mental Hospital. Yes, that’s right, someone must have finally recognized my insane tendencies… so here I am for observation!
Okay, okay, so I am not actually a patient. But I might as well be. I and 18 of my other nursing school classmates are shacked up on a vacant wing of the building. I’m really not even kidding. We have to buzz and security lets us in through the doors. I have a metal sink and toilet (my own personal set!) in the corner of my room. They are aluminum, and they are staring back at me from the corner… kinda creeping me out right now as I am typing this. (I don’t EVEN know how I’ll be able to sleep tonight!) I’m sitting in my rock hard metal bed, typing this. I’ve draped a sheet over the window in my door for privacy. I did bring my own army green sheets to place on the bed (over the top of their white hospital sheets), cause, yes, I am THAT paranoid. And of course my own TWO pillows are propped between me and the wall, as I sit cross-legged in a rather… uhm… alert… position facing the door. (Lets just say, my neck might be sore tomorrow from the stress of holding my body in a constant state of readiness.
Oh, and I took a shower tonight. Now, I, unlike some of you more fortunate people out there who were subjected to the loveliness of communal showers after gym class… have never really taken a hankering to public showers. And when I say that these are public, they do have individual stalls, and curtains… but no good way to go from the shower to dressed, or vice versa… (someone please explain to me the point of having privacy while scrubbing in the shower, if you have no way to privately get to and from the shower for said activity???) Me and one of the other students tag teamed tonight standing guard while the other dressed. Worked out pretty well. I guess we’ll plan on doing that tomorrow night as well.
One good thing… they did add electrical outlets to the patient rooms in an effort to make them better suitable for student’s use. Hence the ability of mine to actually be typing this presently. Its killing me to not be able to check my e-mail right now though. Even when I am away from home, I usually find somewhere to check it, or only go a few days without being online. Of course it is infinitely easier to not feel like you are missing being online, when you aren’t even on your computer… but as that is obviously not the case… *sigh*
Praise the Lord for music though! I am listening to Brooke Frasier right now… really love her sound, you should check her out (musically I mean). I think that I posted a video of hers on here once… Yeah, I think “Albertine”, but I like her other stuff too. Man, sometimes I think that my music is one of the fundamental ways that God chooses to encourage me and get me through the day.
But I digress… how did I get through today, you ask? Well, today wasn’t bad. I am definitely overwhelmed with that daunting task that I will face in the next couple of days. I am not really sure that I am ready for this, at all…
We took a tour of the Mental Hospital today. It’s the saddest thing I have ever seen. We went into several different areas, including the children’s unit. That was sad. A couple of the kids eyes seemed so glazed over, like they didn’t really care what was going on around them. And then some, you could tell were probably the behavior issue kids, because they seemed to have an undercurrent of pushing… just pushing a little further, a little harder… There are also a lot of inmates here from the sex offender part of the state pen. Its kinda scary to think about them being on the same grounds as us, but then again, I suppose they used to live on the same streets as us. Only serves to further my theory (from Proverbs) that with much knowledge comes much grief. Anyway, I feel perfectly safe here, since we are completely locked down.
According to our tour guide, the mental hospital originally started out with largely horticulture therapy for the patients. They essentially ran a farm out here in Midwestern Kansas. Somewhere along the way, really about the time psychotropic drugs started coming out, they closed down the farm. Its sad in a way. I think people learn a lot from caring for living things (even if its just a plant), and there is something that clears your head very nicely from just getting your hands dirty, and doing a little good honest work. Dirt under your fingernails and a satisfied smile on your face.
I’m apprehensive for what tomorrow might hold, but I know the one Who holds my future. Its firmly in His hands, and I don’t expect that it’ll be anything we can’t tackle together!
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