African Violence

Well, in what may go down as one of the worst nights in Uganda, I got mugged on Saturday night. Ironically while trying to go home in the early hours of the morning so that I could make it to church on time the next day.
The thieves made off with my camera, tablet, phone, and a good deal of my inner peace. Not to mention, a brand new deo *words cannot express my disappointment*, my pocket knife *which was supposed to provide for self defense, we see how that worked out*, my nice lip gloss *that I've had for years cause I hardly ever wear lip gloss*, they keys to my house *this made things awkward later*, and worst of all my green army shoulder bag with the buttons on it *I have had this bag for ages and collected those button for so long, some of them were gifts*.
At the end of the day...
Its all material things.
The main thing is that I was not harmed. (Well, mostly, I have a few scrapes and bruises) I lost a great deal of pictures on the tablet and all of my phone contacts, both of which will be difficult to replace, but not necessarily impossible.
I was strangely not carrying my wallet, there was no money in the bag, and no IDs.
God is pretty gracious.

In other, more amusing news... I have been having a small rodent problem in my house, so the other night I picked up some mouse traps at the grocery store. Normally I don't go in for glue traps. They seem ineffective cause they don't really kill the mouse, they just stick to it... and sometimes those things get desperate and walk off with the trap and all. However, the mice I had seen were fairly small so I wasn't too worried about it.
Attempt number one: I think the rat got so desperate that it chewed off its own tail. At least that is what it appeared like. I found the trap... moved from the kitchen to the living room... with only a tail as evidence of the rats entrapment.
Attempt number two: I woke at around 11 to sounds of furious struggle. I go to the kitchen and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a rat (not a mouse, mind you, a RAT) the size of a small kitten stuck in my trap. This thing was probably the biggest wild rat I have ever seen. (and don't get me started on people who keep rats as pets... what's wrong with you???) So I stand back and do some quick math. Gauging the size of this thing, the depth of the glue in that trap, estimated strength of body muscles, adrenaline being released in his rat body, etc... and conclude that this rat may not die as intended by the makers of sticky traps with its final struggles coming to a un-gory end as it submits to the quicksand of the glue trap. There is a real and very eminent threat that this thing may in fact fight its way out of the trap and once again be lose in my apartment. This is not an idea that I openly embrace. I had no idea that things had gotten to this level and certainly have no intention of welcoming such a housemate.So I do the only logical thing. I go for my machette.
But this thing is huge, and I don't have much of an angle for a good fell swoop with a machette (which if you didn't know, is how a machete works best). So I am here hacking at this thing and its not dying. Pretty soon I realize that its me who is making noise every time the machete drops again. By this point, my heart rate and breathing pattern are verging on hysteria. I try to call a friend to come and help me, but no one is available or answering their phones. I must face this thing alone.
The struggling continues in the kitchen but I just hide in my room and pray that it is over soon. Once the movement finally stops I creep back to look. Finding the victim presumably dead I kick the entire thing outside and bar the door. Lets just say I didn't sleep very well that night.
However, the compound cats were well fed and slept just fine!

Joy

Its in the beams of the morning sunlight
Its in the swish of my dress around my hips
Its in the soft clip of my boots against the concrete

Its the rhythmic beat of an African drum
Sounding deep in my chest
Where my heart should be

Portraits, Episode 1

In a tribute to my working on my portrait and editing skills and in true "HoNY" style... May I present Portraits, Episode 1:

My brother Jeff: the most hardworking guy I know, who also knows how to play hard. A man of few words but big actions who can always be counted on. Thanks for sharing my love of BBQ, action movies, shooting, and being creative.

Kia: my soul sister, because best friend is too shallow a title. When I first met her she said I looked like I didn't belong in the group of Americans. We've been our own unique group ever since. Passionate, determined, fiery, and a sweetheart, this girl gets me through the rough days, laughs with me, and can exchange entire convos with only facial expressions.

Massa: aka Superman. I met this guy for the first time when he came to pick me up at the airport. Many long conversations, car trips, bouts of laughter, frustrations, and bad backs later... I am so glad he showed up to pick me up.

Nadunga: a little ray of sunshine. This woman inspires me beyond words. She has almost single handedly been running a charity for street women in Kampala while finishing school and being super involved with family, friends, and the band. Her hard work is often frustrating but she shows up with a huge smile on her face. 

MoAnne: my brave little toaster. This woman pestered me until I joined in as an active member of church, dragged me to countless bible studies, and has consistently spoken truth into my life. When the call came to go, she boldly packed her bags and moved to a new city to help start a church plant. 

Her spunky personality has no match and she is one of the few people I can be truly goofy and seriously hardcore with.

Zam: who swears she is going to deliver my babies if I ever get busy and have them! I met her when she came to work as a midwife at Ruth Gaylord Hospital with me. She is a truly beautiful woman, inside and out. I've seen her go through personal hardships and still show up with a smile on her face, treat her laboring mothers with a calmness, and speak kindly even when firm.

Molly: the little pixie. I gave her that name because it seems to describe her. She sometimes jumps from flower to flower, but she loves spreading joy. While her affection is sometimes overwhelming to me, its also endearing.

Ronnie: Lil bro. Actually, he's not my Lil bro, but i've kinda adopted him. He can be quiet at times, but once you get him talking, the tap doesn't shut off! I love his willingness to do whatever hairbrained idea we come up with.

Ejuku: its a love/hate friendship really... As in, we love to hate on each other! Haha, no this guy is a good friend and one of the few people in my life I can be blatantly honest, wickedly sarcastic, and dangerously open with. That doesn't sound like much, but in a friendship, that amount of freedom is heavenly!

And finally, a self portrait.

How To, Episode 3: Recycled Home Decor

Making picture frames from common household trash! 

Reduce, reuse, recycle 

(otherwise entitled I'm poor but still crafty)

Start with scrap cardboard... A discarded pizza box sans grease works!

Measure your pic on the back and cut accordingly.

Cut out the inside of your frame too! 

Cut clippings from old newspaper. 

Secure them to the card board with modpodge. 

Affix your pic and display as desired! 

My Camera

Sometimes the moment passes too fast
And sometimes the camera hand isn't quick enough
Or the lighting is poorer than my retinas
Or the angle is wrong to grasp the whole scene
So I wish I had cameras where my eyes are
To capture anything that I can see.

I would have captured the three year olds
Using an old Jeri can for a pinata
Laughing and shrieking through their blindfolds
As their sticks struck earth and plastic by turns
To remind myself to appreciate the little things
And when I can see less, I sometimes enjoy more.

And I would capture all the strange things I see
As I sit astride a boda whizzing through traffic
I would have captured the Popsicle truck bumping up my dusty road
A pied piper with a string of kids in tow
And the horrifying cat mask the operator wore
To remind me that there are more terrifying nightmares
Than the ones I seem to face.

I would capture every look I get from girls
Who think I look good and hate me for it
Then I would paste them all together
And stick them to the wall where my mirror should be
To remind myself that I am beautiful enough to have haters
So I should stop being my own.

Maybe that's why I like words so much
Because an image can fade in the mind
But if I write it down in candid detail
It can never be lost
The poignancy of it still as ripe as it's first sting
So I write, to remind myself of all the things my camera can't capture
And all the lessons they teach my heart.

My words are the camera of my soul.

How To, Episode 2: Be a Good Example

Don't encourage your friends to become addicted to TV shows

Always behave with the up most decorum

Don't give yourself bangs

Always maintain proper hygiene

Don't engage in substance abuse

Always work hard while at work

Don't play with guns

Don't get tattoos

Don't encourage your friends to get tattoos

Keep your facial expressions respectful

Maintain a well balanced diet

Don't slip up and become a hipster

How To, Episode 1: Improvise Alfredo

Welcome to a new segment of my blog which I am going to call the "How To" segment. Our first feature today will be How to Improvise Alfredo sauce (when cooking in a foreign country that doesn't believe in cheese...) What kind of country doesn't believe in cheese you ask? Well, Ugandans don't really cook with cheese... Like ever. Yeah, I know! This ruins my American ideology that any food item + cheese = more amazing food item! 

In light of this however, I have had to learn how to make things a little differently. Some things just aren't the same (Mac and cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches) but some... Such as Pasta Alfredo can still be successfully ventured! 

Of course you start with the same basic ingredients. Pasta.

A healthy assortment of fresh onions, green peppers, hot peppers, tomatoes, dani (cilantro), Italian seasoning, and garlic.

(Also, fresh spinach and grilled chicken, not pictured, but quite delicious!)

First pan sear your spices and veggies in a generous dose of olive oil, then add the secret ingredient... Plain yogurt! You wouldn't think this would be good, but once everything is together, you can hardly tell it's not real Alfredo sauce from cheese! 

Pour over pasta of choice, lightly toss and enjoy! 

This has been "How To" with Jo! 

Stay creative my good people!