Well I realize I haven't written recently folks, which is obviously a travesty. Mostly, I believe it had to do with the condition of my heart recently. Sometimes when I haven't thought things through well enough I can't really begin to type them down in readable format for y'all to enjoy. And partly I think it had to do with that I've been so terribly busy!!
Now, granted, part of the reason I was so terribly busy is that I was avoiding thinking through some of those things that need to be thought thru before I could write them down, and partly I really have had valid excuses. Fellowship being one, and moving being another.
So today I am going to write to you a little about both!
Okay, when I say "fellowship" I say that because I don't really like to think of our group as church, at least not in the conventional sense. Granted, it is very much a church (in that it's primary purpose it to be a group of believers seeking after God together), but somehow to me it encompasses so much more than just the simple label of "church" that I find myself wondering if it really fits in the category of what "church" is in this convoluted country and society of ours. But when I say "fellowship" I immediately think of my fellowship group from Uganda, and then I feel that I am being more accurate, because there it was a group of young people (they are called "born-agains" when they dedicate themselves to really following God with their lives) that were actively seeking the Lord, and not just a place to show up on Sunday morning. And I guess to me there was something more of the aspect that we were each other's people. The friends that we loved to hang out with and shared our common bond of Jesus with as we were walking or eating (they love to eat! :) or just hanging out and talking. And that somehow more accurately describes the new family of believers that I have found myself in here in the States.
I had the hardest time after I came back from Uganda feeling like I would ever fit into a fellowship ever again here in the States because I felt like I left my true one back in Uganda. Here it is hard to find a group of young people that a relentlessly dedicated to God, and also dedicated to one another. Plus, lets face it: that is a ridiculously intimidating group for a person to try and enter. I have had lots of struggles in my life over the last several years and I felt like coming into a group like that they would be able to see clear through me and see all the nastiness that had been my past. There's no way that they could love me, or if they could, it would be after passing judgement on me as being a fallen sinner and a baby Christian in need of lots of "mentoring". That frankly, scared me to death!
All that being said... I finally let myself take the plunge and discovered that I loved the waters. They bring life and healing and laughter to my soul every single day! (I should footnote here a couple of beautiful ladies that really loved me into the fellowship, but honestly God was also working pretty hard core on my heart as well.)
I've been going to Vintage Faith for probably over a year now. At first it was only every other Sunday morning because of work and stuff. Then last fall I decided to start going to the Vintage Faith Students group. I'm not a student and haven't been a student for a little while. Honestly, its a little strange sometimes being so old in comparison to everyone else, but its cool. I mean, I'm pretty used to being the older sister everywhere I go. Haha! Then after loosing my job last December, I was able to start coming to Vintage all the time, and got even more involved in house churches, VFS, and just hanging out with the brothers and sisters. Its been amazing and soooooooo encouraging, and I can't imagine now what my life would be like without them all!
So back in February, after being asked by a sister, and some serious thought and prayer, I decided to take another plunge and live in community this fall. Its been a long 2 years living by myself. Sometimes its good, and very definitely sometimes its really, really terrible. Both for my own walk with the Lord, and for the intense depression and loneliness that it sometimes has the ability to thrust upon me. The way that community works with VFS is that everything gets shared in common. Clothes and jewelry and food and space and chores all become everybody's. Which is cool, but also intimidating. Lots of people have really bad roommate experiences that stem from other people using "their" stuff. Here is a brand new concept, as we seek lay down things as "my" stuff and become "our" stuff. If you come into a new situation with that sort of mindset, it completely changes the outcome of positive and negative experiences.
Fast forward to August 1st. I moved into an apartment that will eventually house me and 4 other girls. Can I just say for a moment how hard it is to cram an entire 2 bedroom apartment's worth of stuff into one small bedroom? Talk about difficult to nearly impossible. Why do I have so much STUFF??? Do I really need all this? I find more and more that I am turned off by the very idea of obtaining anything else to add to my already overflowing little hobbit hole. I got rid of a bunch of old clothes and old childhood treasures, sent a 2 foot tall pile of old school papers to recycling, donated a full box of school supplies to my parents' homeschool, had to give away several pieces of furniture, and its still cramped in my room! Haha... that means I'm blessed I guess! The nice thing is that my ceilings are tall so I just keep stacking things and eventually it'll all fit! My roommates were incredibly gracious and allowed most of my living room furniture to grace our new living room. So the the crazy red couch had to go back out the 2nd floor window that it came in when I moved into my last apartment, but thankfully this apartment is on the ground floor so it sits proudly in our living room splashes its colorfulness around.
All my kitchen stuff is stashed away in the kitchen and it feels like home already... minus the wall-hangings that desperately need to be put up! :)
Now I am finally ready to settle in for the semester and not be stressed (though somehow I have this inkling that the busy is going to stay at the same level.) ;)
Monday, August 13, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
I Miss You
Today I miss my Grandpa B. a lot.
We were talking in class today about trees and I offhandedly mentioned the names of a couple of the leaves they were talking about. The second grade teacher widened her eyes, and was like,"Wow! You know what these are?" I realized that the only reason I do is because of Grandpa B.
Funny all the time that you think you will have with people and that's never really the way it turns out. I always thought that when I grew up I would have Grandpa teach me all the names of all the trees in the whole world. He was just amazing like that. We liked to quiz him sometimes as we tromped through the timber in our oldest "play shoes" trying to avoid stick-tights and leaping over fallen logs and dodging through underbrush. You could ask him the name of just about any tree and he could tell you.
He grew up on the same farm in rural Kansas that I first met him on, in what I remember as a great big farm house that seems to have shrunk with with passing years. It was the family farm but my Grandpa was the last brother around still farming. When I was little he did just that. He farmed. I remember sometimes when we would come to see them, if it was a bad time of the year, we would see him very little. Then there were no "horsey-rides" as we called it when we would clamor aboard his back as he paraded us (sometimes multiple us'es) around the room on all fours. He would be out early in the morning doing chores and come home late at night.
The best thing, if it wasn't a bad time of the year, was to catch him as he was about to go feed the cows. I could usually convince him to let me carry a bucket of grain out from the silo to the bins. Of course I wasn't strong enough to heave it over the sides, nor did I carry a full 8 gallon bucket, but I remember being pretty pleased with myself that I had helped Grandpa with the chores. But very best of all is if you could get him alone, if only you had seen him sneak off to go do chores, and then having Grandpa all to your very own self was like a little girl's very best treat! He was gentle and loved teaching about anything. You could ask him any question in the world and he would answer in that soft spoken, but very knowledgeable Southern Kansas drawl.
He was a builder too. Even after he retired from farming, he would do carpentry, plumbing, and electrical work for people all the time. He told us once that he could do duct work for central air too, but the certification fees were so high, it didn't make it worth his time. I never doubted that he probably could have built anything. I dearly treasure the jewelry boxes that he made for each one of us girls. Grandpa wasn't one to be idle very long. He used to let us come with him when he was working on building the house for my Grandma back in the timber. We would rollerskate in the basement on the smooth concrete while he worked away in some other part of the house.
And he was a storyteller. He could tell the best stories about growing up with his mischievous family on the farm, about the other soldiers in his division in the Army, about farming, or even just a silly anecdote from day to day life. He always made it fun and exciting to listen to.
I guess the main reason that I miss him today is that today was him and Grandma's anniversary. I always thought that was cool because it fell the day before my birthday, so I always felt especially close to them just for that silly reason. I think I always thought that Grandpa would be there to see me be the one to walk down the aisle. He would be there in his western cut suit with those dress boots all shiny and his eyes sparkling with happiness. I'll miss that he won't be there.
The best thing to remember about my Grandpa though, is probably the gentle rise and fall of his voice reading the Christmas story aloud to us. Grandpa was quiet about his faith, but that didn't mean it wasn't there all the same. He was so faithful at making sure that we were quizzed on the real meaning behind Christmas, and we didn't ever want to disappoint him. My mom even helped us memorize the passage from Luke one year to surprise him.
I only got a spanking from Grandpa once in my life.Apparently we were giving Grandma just a little too much trouble and being a little too rambunctious. I guess once was enough to scare me straight because Grandpa was STRONG, and I never wanted to get a spanking from him again!
He always made sure to give us all a hug before we parted every time we saw one another. I miss Grandpa's hugs and the smell of the dusty barn lingering on his work shirts. I love riding in his old truck that my brother drives now for that exact reason; I can still smell that old barn and it makes me feel close to Grandpa.
One of my friends the other day showed me a shirt she had found at a thrift store. She was excited because it was flannel, plaid, western cut, and had beautiful pearl snaps down the front and on the cuffs. (That sort of thing is all the rage with these hipsters now days.) To me though, it was the perfect picture of something Grandpa would have worn, and it made me miss him.
We were talking in class today about trees and I offhandedly mentioned the names of a couple of the leaves they were talking about. The second grade teacher widened her eyes, and was like,"Wow! You know what these are?" I realized that the only reason I do is because of Grandpa B.
Funny all the time that you think you will have with people and that's never really the way it turns out. I always thought that when I grew up I would have Grandpa teach me all the names of all the trees in the whole world. He was just amazing like that. We liked to quiz him sometimes as we tromped through the timber in our oldest "play shoes" trying to avoid stick-tights and leaping over fallen logs and dodging through underbrush. You could ask him the name of just about any tree and he could tell you.
He grew up on the same farm in rural Kansas that I first met him on, in what I remember as a great big farm house that seems to have shrunk with with passing years. It was the family farm but my Grandpa was the last brother around still farming. When I was little he did just that. He farmed. I remember sometimes when we would come to see them, if it was a bad time of the year, we would see him very little. Then there were no "horsey-rides" as we called it when we would clamor aboard his back as he paraded us (sometimes multiple us'es) around the room on all fours. He would be out early in the morning doing chores and come home late at night.
The best thing, if it wasn't a bad time of the year, was to catch him as he was about to go feed the cows. I could usually convince him to let me carry a bucket of grain out from the silo to the bins. Of course I wasn't strong enough to heave it over the sides, nor did I carry a full 8 gallon bucket, but I remember being pretty pleased with myself that I had helped Grandpa with the chores. But very best of all is if you could get him alone, if only you had seen him sneak off to go do chores, and then having Grandpa all to your very own self was like a little girl's very best treat! He was gentle and loved teaching about anything. You could ask him any question in the world and he would answer in that soft spoken, but very knowledgeable Southern Kansas drawl.
He was a builder too. Even after he retired from farming, he would do carpentry, plumbing, and electrical work for people all the time. He told us once that he could do duct work for central air too, but the certification fees were so high, it didn't make it worth his time. I never doubted that he probably could have built anything. I dearly treasure the jewelry boxes that he made for each one of us girls. Grandpa wasn't one to be idle very long. He used to let us come with him when he was working on building the house for my Grandma back in the timber. We would rollerskate in the basement on the smooth concrete while he worked away in some other part of the house.
And he was a storyteller. He could tell the best stories about growing up with his mischievous family on the farm, about the other soldiers in his division in the Army, about farming, or even just a silly anecdote from day to day life. He always made it fun and exciting to listen to.
I guess the main reason that I miss him today is that today was him and Grandma's anniversary. I always thought that was cool because it fell the day before my birthday, so I always felt especially close to them just for that silly reason. I think I always thought that Grandpa would be there to see me be the one to walk down the aisle. He would be there in his western cut suit with those dress boots all shiny and his eyes sparkling with happiness. I'll miss that he won't be there.
The best thing to remember about my Grandpa though, is probably the gentle rise and fall of his voice reading the Christmas story aloud to us. Grandpa was quiet about his faith, but that didn't mean it wasn't there all the same. He was so faithful at making sure that we were quizzed on the real meaning behind Christmas, and we didn't ever want to disappoint him. My mom even helped us memorize the passage from Luke one year to surprise him.
I only got a spanking from Grandpa once in my life.Apparently we were giving Grandma just a little too much trouble and being a little too rambunctious. I guess once was enough to scare me straight because Grandpa was STRONG, and I never wanted to get a spanking from him again!
He always made sure to give us all a hug before we parted every time we saw one another. I miss Grandpa's hugs and the smell of the dusty barn lingering on his work shirts. I love riding in his old truck that my brother drives now for that exact reason; I can still smell that old barn and it makes me feel close to Grandpa.
One of my friends the other day showed me a shirt she had found at a thrift store. She was excited because it was flannel, plaid, western cut, and had beautiful pearl snaps down the front and on the cuffs. (That sort of thing is all the rage with these hipsters now days.) To me though, it was the perfect picture of something Grandpa would have worn, and it made me miss him.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
My Life as a Vegetarian
So my brother, sister, and I have been in a 30 day vegetarian challenge for the month of April. Unlike a lot of vegetarians or vegans, we have absolutely no moral basis for this, we just thought it would be fun to challenge ourselves. When we were talking about the book of Daniel in the Bible the other day, I mentioned offhandedly to my sister that I had always wanted to try the diet that Daniel and the 3 men instituted when they were brought to the king's court. So we decided to do it. I know, we are lame, and probably bring shame to the good name of vegetarians everywhere, but oh well.
Anyway, so I've been keeping my eye out for vegetarian recipes to try, and I found this one for African Sweet Potato and Peanut Stew that actually sounded like something I would have eaten in Africa. And as you all know, I have a frank obsession with anything African so I knew I just had to try it!
Step 1: gather and chop! (be sure to keep your laptop within easy reach in case you need some music or movie entertainment)
Step 2: saute the onions and red bell peppers (aren't they colorful?)
Step 3: Cook the stew (I also added some broccoli to my meal for color palate aesthetics and had to make some rice to serve the stew over) My mini stove was at full capacity!
Step 4: add your spices! (a little bit of everything for this flavorful stew!)
Basically it's cinnamon toast, baked in the oven, then covered in lemon cream cheesiness, and topped with as many fresh strawberries as you can fit! (I used the spreadable whipped cream cheese, and it turned out nice and fluffy.) A perfect garnish would have been mint sprigs on top, but sadly, I don't yet have my fairy-tale herb garden.
And just like that... Dinner is served (Vegetarian style)! Of course I had to have my brother and sister over to try out the scrumptious meal! My brother brought some french bread for an extra side, and the meal looked beautiful! I would have to say though, that the flavor of the stew was not exactly my favorite. I like cinnamon a lot, but I don't think it goes with vegetables very well, and I would probably leave that out if I make it again. Other than that though, it was very filling, which I find is one of the hardest things about vegetarian cooking, so I'm marking it down as a success!! Saturday, April 7, 2012
Dreams of Tomorrow
I dreamed of Uganda last night. I know, I know... you are thinking by now, "that is nothing new", and also slightly wondering to yourself how far this crazy lady's obsession with Africa will go...
Honestly, I have no idea how far it will go. My dad was telling me about talking with someone the other day who mentioned that all of his kids that had gone on overseas mission trips had initially upon returning to the States, wanted to move to the countries that they visited. None of them have even attempted. The desire faded with time. I don't feel like mine has. Granted, I've tried to temper parts of it, so it doesn't come up as often in conversation and I don't over talk about it. People rarely appreciate it when you share your dreams.
Sometimes, when I think about how long its been since I've trod the muddy roads and got to hug some of my favorite people in the world, it makes me very sad and I want to mope inconsolably. Sometimes when I look at my bank account I sigh as I realize that the savings I need aren't stacking up that fast. And sometimes... just sometimes mind you... I forget for a moment about all that and its like I get to ride on the wings of God for a moment as He shows me the wonders of what He has for me. And I always dream in color those times, but the color is so brilliant, that I almost want to close my eyes. Those times its easy to believe and trust that He's going to work this all out, and that I have nothing to worry about. I feel renewed, deep down inside where its impossible for just a feeling to reach. Its simply God.
Honestly, I have no idea how far it will go. My dad was telling me about talking with someone the other day who mentioned that all of his kids that had gone on overseas mission trips had initially upon returning to the States, wanted to move to the countries that they visited. None of them have even attempted. The desire faded with time. I don't feel like mine has. Granted, I've tried to temper parts of it, so it doesn't come up as often in conversation and I don't over talk about it. People rarely appreciate it when you share your dreams.
Sometimes, when I think about how long its been since I've trod the muddy roads and got to hug some of my favorite people in the world, it makes me very sad and I want to mope inconsolably. Sometimes when I look at my bank account I sigh as I realize that the savings I need aren't stacking up that fast. And sometimes... just sometimes mind you... I forget for a moment about all that and its like I get to ride on the wings of God for a moment as He shows me the wonders of what He has for me. And I always dream in color those times, but the color is so brilliant, that I almost want to close my eyes. Those times its easy to believe and trust that He's going to work this all out, and that I have nothing to worry about. I feel renewed, deep down inside where its impossible for just a feeling to reach. Its simply God.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
A day in the life of...
Well, my adoring public... I am sure that you have missed me! I've been on a bit of a blogging sabbatical while I worked on a task of slightly larger proportions. Yes, that's right; I have been writing a book. Granted, its still very much in the sloppy-copy-with-large-amounts-of-editing-and-additional-writing-needed stages but I thought I would break my blogging fast and just write about a few things here today. And I don't want you all needlessly worrying that I have dropped off of the face of the earth or anything... ;)
What have I been up to? Well... I could break it down very simply for you. My week of late starts on a Tuesday on which I rise early at 0600 and busy myself with general preparations for a day of work. I have found that given the option of wearing pretty much whatever I want to wear to work (within reason and good repair of course) I will never opt for anything but jeans. Over the years of dress codes at other places of employment, I have managed to amass a small plethora of dress clothes which I like to varying degrees... but when I am faced with the question of what will I wear today and jeans is one of the options... I will pick it 99.99% of the time. I guess I have that relationship with my jeans that some people have with their sweat-pants. Like at every given opportunity they will wear them. I will unabashedly admit that I have worn jeans to bed before too without the slightest trepidation as far as comfort.
Anyway... back to me getting ready for work... then I make a lunch, and leave my house by 0700. I drive 30-45 minutes to work. Depending on the amount of traffic and what they are doing with the stupid K-18 construction. I usually get cut off by at least one really bad driver at this point as well. As I drive I have come up with a no music policy. Instead I use that time to think about my day and get my head organized, and I usually pray for the day and for everyone that is on my heart that day. I wasn't sure that I would like commuting to work, but aside from the obvious gas expenditure, I actually enjoy it!
When I get to work I get things prepped at the house, get on the bus with my little buddy and I'm off to another day in the 2nd grade! We get to learn a lot of fun things like how to borrow when we are subtracting, and about reading for plots and main ideas, and spelling all sorts of fun things. A long time ago I wondered if I would like being a teacher, but decided I wouldn't go to school for that because I didn't want to have to deal with a school system that would want me to teach that I am related to a monkey, which I am not really cool with. Now I get to act as a para for my little buddy for about 1/2 the day. Granted, I have no formal training in this, so sometimes my attempts at explaining something fall on flat ears, but I simply adore when I see the eyes light up and I know my student finally understands! Its about one of the best feelings ever really! I could easily understand why people feel that its rewarding to be a teacher.
Usually throughout the course of the day I have one or two simply crazy, either revelations, or conversations with students that leaves me in wonderment of the workings of a 2nd grade brain. For example:
I had a conversation on the playground the other day with two 2nd grade boys about what aliens are like, to which they adamantly declared that they looked funny, they talked unintelligibly, and were ultimately evil wishing to blow up anything in their paths. They were very discouraged when I suggested that since they had never personally met an alien they could not know that they were inherently evil, neither could they know what they looked like, and just cause someone talks funny doesn't mean that they are a bad person. Further illustrated when I started talking in an accent. When they supported their theories about the bent-on-destruction nature of the beasts they were describing by saying that they knew this to be true because they had seen it on TV, I nearly despaired for the whole generation. However, through some skillful questioning on my part I was able to get them to admit that those where only renderings of what another person thought that these creatures where like and they rather resentfully admitted that they had no hard evidence since they were not eye-witnesses to a visit of extra-terrestrial nature. When the bell rang to go in to lunch I couldn't help but feel a smug sense of accomplishment that I was broadening the minds of the next generation one playground conversation at a time.
There are many other conversations both overheard and engaged in which would make you laugh at the candor of these innocent minds. Like the time where they were explaining to me the difference between boy and girl snakes, "This one is a boy. I can tell cause of all the spikes. That snake is a girl, cause its smooth." or the one upping on the playground the other day... it started small and soon escalated to this, "...Well you have to kiss the WHOLE UNIVERSE!" countered by, "Well, you have to pee in an alien's nose!!" at which both boys doubled over in laughter and then both agreed that now they were just being silly. I tell you... sometimes...
And its funny the things I learn sometimes... like blood oranges? Anybody heard of them? Look them up and I'm sure you'll understand why I could only manage to try the taste. They taste perfectly pleasant, but getting past the look is a bit more than my stomach could handle. Also... I don't think that I fully understood about the axis and rotational journey of the earth until we were looking at in class the other day. Armed with my handy-dandy blackberry (or crackberry as its called because of its addictive nature) I was able to look up a lot more information and fully comprehend some things that I hadn't really known before.
I also found a perfect chunk of time during the day where I am able to sit back and ready my scriptures for the day on my phone. This is not ideal always for really in depth Bible study, but it does keep me up to date with the read through the Bible in a year plan that they are doing through church, and then I can search out things later in the evening. Usually there is one small nugget which I can carry with me through the day at school and its very encouraging.
Lest you think that I am simply a playground monitor though, and not actually a nurse... I should state that I thoroughly enjoy my job as a nurse as well. No complaints from me in that department, though I am obviously much more fettered as to what I can post about that on here. Its been nice to deal with a pediatric population I must say. I've always wanted to work in that field since I first started my nursing degree, and its simply lovely how God finally worked it out for me to do exactly that! Man, I love Him!
Needless to say after a busy day at school, we come home, report about our day, finish up some work, and then I get back on the road between 1700-1800. My drive home always seems to be a bit more tumultuous. I usually get cut off at least 3 times on the way home and have started opting to drive all the way around to the next exit for instead of using the dreaded construction route because around that time of day everyone from the Fort gets off duty too and start heading the same direction. Its better for my general sanity if I don't have to interact with them, so I choose to tack an extra 5-7minutes on my trip and just go around.
I get home where I generally have some sort of supper to throw together in a hasty manner depending on what time I got home, and then its off to some activity for church or meeting with a friend.
Now that they days are so beautiful I am really delighting in keeping my windows open all the time and coming home to and sleeping in the fresh air I find rather invigorating. In any case it has only been slightly hampered by my allergies and I think that was in relation to the fields burning and not allergies per say.
On the weekends I have developed a habit of sleeping in on at least one day. Its quite luxurious I know, but I thoroughly feel that I deserve it at times. The rest of the weekend is spent as weekends ought to be. Hanging out with friends, Vintage Faith Church, and of course the infamous laundry.
Other than that, you can usually find me in a local coffee shop with a good book or with pen in hand, furiously scribbling away.
What have I been up to? Well... I could break it down very simply for you. My week of late starts on a Tuesday on which I rise early at 0600 and busy myself with general preparations for a day of work. I have found that given the option of wearing pretty much whatever I want to wear to work (within reason and good repair of course) I will never opt for anything but jeans. Over the years of dress codes at other places of employment, I have managed to amass a small plethora of dress clothes which I like to varying degrees... but when I am faced with the question of what will I wear today and jeans is one of the options... I will pick it 99.99% of the time. I guess I have that relationship with my jeans that some people have with their sweat-pants. Like at every given opportunity they will wear them. I will unabashedly admit that I have worn jeans to bed before too without the slightest trepidation as far as comfort.
Anyway... back to me getting ready for work... then I make a lunch, and leave my house by 0700. I drive 30-45 minutes to work. Depending on the amount of traffic and what they are doing with the stupid K-18 construction. I usually get cut off by at least one really bad driver at this point as well. As I drive I have come up with a no music policy. Instead I use that time to think about my day and get my head organized, and I usually pray for the day and for everyone that is on my heart that day. I wasn't sure that I would like commuting to work, but aside from the obvious gas expenditure, I actually enjoy it!
When I get to work I get things prepped at the house, get on the bus with my little buddy and I'm off to another day in the 2nd grade! We get to learn a lot of fun things like how to borrow when we are subtracting, and about reading for plots and main ideas, and spelling all sorts of fun things. A long time ago I wondered if I would like being a teacher, but decided I wouldn't go to school for that because I didn't want to have to deal with a school system that would want me to teach that I am related to a monkey, which I am not really cool with. Now I get to act as a para for my little buddy for about 1/2 the day. Granted, I have no formal training in this, so sometimes my attempts at explaining something fall on flat ears, but I simply adore when I see the eyes light up and I know my student finally understands! Its about one of the best feelings ever really! I could easily understand why people feel that its rewarding to be a teacher.
Usually throughout the course of the day I have one or two simply crazy, either revelations, or conversations with students that leaves me in wonderment of the workings of a 2nd grade brain. For example:
I had a conversation on the playground the other day with two 2nd grade boys about what aliens are like, to which they adamantly declared that they looked funny, they talked unintelligibly, and were ultimately evil wishing to blow up anything in their paths. They were very discouraged when I suggested that since they had never personally met an alien they could not know that they were inherently evil, neither could they know what they looked like, and just cause someone talks funny doesn't mean that they are a bad person. Further illustrated when I started talking in an accent. When they supported their theories about the bent-on-destruction nature of the beasts they were describing by saying that they knew this to be true because they had seen it on TV, I nearly despaired for the whole generation. However, through some skillful questioning on my part I was able to get them to admit that those where only renderings of what another person thought that these creatures where like and they rather resentfully admitted that they had no hard evidence since they were not eye-witnesses to a visit of extra-terrestrial nature. When the bell rang to go in to lunch I couldn't help but feel a smug sense of accomplishment that I was broadening the minds of the next generation one playground conversation at a time.
There are many other conversations both overheard and engaged in which would make you laugh at the candor of these innocent minds. Like the time where they were explaining to me the difference between boy and girl snakes, "This one is a boy. I can tell cause of all the spikes. That snake is a girl, cause its smooth." or the one upping on the playground the other day... it started small and soon escalated to this, "...Well you have to kiss the WHOLE UNIVERSE!" countered by, "Well, you have to pee in an alien's nose!!" at which both boys doubled over in laughter and then both agreed that now they were just being silly. I tell you... sometimes...
And its funny the things I learn sometimes... like blood oranges? Anybody heard of them? Look them up and I'm sure you'll understand why I could only manage to try the taste. They taste perfectly pleasant, but getting past the look is a bit more than my stomach could handle. Also... I don't think that I fully understood about the axis and rotational journey of the earth until we were looking at in class the other day. Armed with my handy-dandy blackberry (or crackberry as its called because of its addictive nature) I was able to look up a lot more information and fully comprehend some things that I hadn't really known before.
I also found a perfect chunk of time during the day where I am able to sit back and ready my scriptures for the day on my phone. This is not ideal always for really in depth Bible study, but it does keep me up to date with the read through the Bible in a year plan that they are doing through church, and then I can search out things later in the evening. Usually there is one small nugget which I can carry with me through the day at school and its very encouraging.
Lest you think that I am simply a playground monitor though, and not actually a nurse... I should state that I thoroughly enjoy my job as a nurse as well. No complaints from me in that department, though I am obviously much more fettered as to what I can post about that on here. Its been nice to deal with a pediatric population I must say. I've always wanted to work in that field since I first started my nursing degree, and its simply lovely how God finally worked it out for me to do exactly that! Man, I love Him!
Needless to say after a busy day at school, we come home, report about our day, finish up some work, and then I get back on the road between 1700-1800. My drive home always seems to be a bit more tumultuous. I usually get cut off at least 3 times on the way home and have started opting to drive all the way around to the next exit for instead of using the dreaded construction route because around that time of day everyone from the Fort gets off duty too and start heading the same direction. Its better for my general sanity if I don't have to interact with them, so I choose to tack an extra 5-7minutes on my trip and just go around.
I get home where I generally have some sort of supper to throw together in a hasty manner depending on what time I got home, and then its off to some activity for church or meeting with a friend.
Now that they days are so beautiful I am really delighting in keeping my windows open all the time and coming home to and sleeping in the fresh air I find rather invigorating. In any case it has only been slightly hampered by my allergies and I think that was in relation to the fields burning and not allergies per say.
On the weekends I have developed a habit of sleeping in on at least one day. Its quite luxurious I know, but I thoroughly feel that I deserve it at times. The rest of the weekend is spent as weekends ought to be. Hanging out with friends, Vintage Faith Church, and of course the infamous laundry.
Other than that, you can usually find me in a local coffee shop with a good book or with pen in hand, furiously scribbling away.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Adventures of Joy
I know that I was really upset after loosing my other job, but I would just like to go on record and say that God is so amazingly good!
I love my new job. I love the little boy I take care of. I love getting to interact with all the kids at school. I love the my 3 day weekends and being able to go to all my church activities. I love the absolute stress-free-ness! I even love the 1/2 hour drive to and from work every day (my own personal prayer closet).
God has really, really blessed me. I really just don't even know how else to explain it other than that!
It seems like every time something goes wrong in my life recently He really works it out in a way that is beautiful. I lost my job; I get a better paying job that I love more. He breaks relationships and rebuilds them. My car won't start, but I know what the problem is and can fix it myself. I am broke beyond belief, but I can still scrape enough together to bless someone in more need. The door isn't open to go to Africa yet (which breaks my heart), but I get to live with 4 amazing sisters from VFS next year (which aside from being a huge blessing and chance for me to be a blessing, also gives me an opportunity to honor my father's advice).
And the joy doesn't stop! I guess that's the part that I love the most. Well, I don't guess, I know. I think my face looks 2 years younger when I see it these days. The worry and stress is just gone and with it the unseemly lines that accompanied them. Funny how seeking God leads us directly to that kind of peace and joy!
I guess that isn't really a very good, nice long, meaningful post like I usually like to write... but that's what's up with me and also why I haven't really posted on here recently. I guess I've been too busy loving and living life!
I love my new job. I love the little boy I take care of. I love getting to interact with all the kids at school. I love the my 3 day weekends and being able to go to all my church activities. I love the absolute stress-free-ness! I even love the 1/2 hour drive to and from work every day (my own personal prayer closet).
God has really, really blessed me. I really just don't even know how else to explain it other than that!
It seems like every time something goes wrong in my life recently He really works it out in a way that is beautiful. I lost my job; I get a better paying job that I love more. He breaks relationships and rebuilds them. My car won't start, but I know what the problem is and can fix it myself. I am broke beyond belief, but I can still scrape enough together to bless someone in more need. The door isn't open to go to Africa yet (which breaks my heart), but I get to live with 4 amazing sisters from VFS next year (which aside from being a huge blessing and chance for me to be a blessing, also gives me an opportunity to honor my father's advice).
And the joy doesn't stop! I guess that's the part that I love the most. Well, I don't guess, I know. I think my face looks 2 years younger when I see it these days. The worry and stress is just gone and with it the unseemly lines that accompanied them. Funny how seeking God leads us directly to that kind of peace and joy!
I guess that isn't really a very good, nice long, meaningful post like I usually like to write... but that's what's up with me and also why I haven't really posted on here recently. I guess I've been too busy loving and living life!
Unsearchable
"Come out by yourself and be clean," You have said
And I have desired it
That purity that dives so deep and cleans out all the muck
That I've made of the beauty You intended for my life
And sometimes I fear that when You see the mess
You'll sigh and give up on me
Cause I know that I would
Which is yet another reason its good I'm not God
You don't give up though, even when I try to
When I backslide and struggle and fail.
Yet again.
You always take me back, give me another chance,
Love me still.
What kind of person does that?
I mean, its just stupid according to this world.
You don't keep loving people who hurt you,
Let alone a delinquent wife who constantly whore's herself.
And I am no better than Isreal
No different than Hosea's wife...
And you have loved me yet.
How can I comprehend that?
Let alone accept is as true,
A Love that never changes?
I've had only small, minuscule tastes of such a Love
And not near enough to think it might be real
But You keep teaching me to believe in it
That You aren't going to go anywhere.
You are constant and unchanging as the morning sun.
As steady as the ocean tide coming in.
Yet You aren't tame.
You aren't safe.
Ironically You are as many different things as it is possible to be
Yet above all: unsearchable,
Un-understandable.
And I have desired it
That purity that dives so deep and cleans out all the muck
That I've made of the beauty You intended for my life
And sometimes I fear that when You see the mess
You'll sigh and give up on me
Cause I know that I would
Which is yet another reason its good I'm not God
You don't give up though, even when I try to
When I backslide and struggle and fail.
Yet again.
You always take me back, give me another chance,
Love me still.
What kind of person does that?
I mean, its just stupid according to this world.
You don't keep loving people who hurt you,
Let alone a delinquent wife who constantly whore's herself.
And I am no better than Isreal
No different than Hosea's wife...
And you have loved me yet.
How can I comprehend that?
Let alone accept is as true,
A Love that never changes?
I've had only small, minuscule tastes of such a Love
And not near enough to think it might be real
But You keep teaching me to believe in it
That You aren't going to go anywhere.
You are constant and unchanging as the morning sun.
As steady as the ocean tide coming in.
Yet You aren't tame.
You aren't safe.
Ironically You are as many different things as it is possible to be
Yet above all: unsearchable,
Un-understandable.
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