Well I realize I haven't written recently folks, which is obviously a travesty. Mostly, I believe it had to do with the condition of my heart recently. Sometimes when I haven't thought things through well enough I can't really begin to type them down in readable format for y'all to enjoy. And partly I think it had to do with that I've been so terribly busy!!
Now, granted, part of the reason I was so terribly busy is that I was avoiding thinking through some of those things that need to be thought thru before I could write them down, and partly I really have had valid excuses. Fellowship being one, and moving being another.
So today I am going to write to you a little about both!
Okay, when I say "fellowship" I say that because I don't really like to think of our group as church, at least not in the conventional sense. Granted, it is very much a church (in that it's primary purpose it to be a group of believers seeking after God together), but somehow to me it encompasses so much more than just the simple label of "church" that I find myself wondering if it really fits in the category of what "church" is in this convoluted country and society of ours. But when I say "fellowship" I immediately think of my fellowship group from Uganda, and then I feel that I am being more accurate, because there it was a group of young people (they are called "born-agains" when they dedicate themselves to really following God with their lives) that were actively seeking the Lord, and not just a place to show up on Sunday morning. And I guess to me there was something more of the aspect that we were each other's people. The friends that we loved to hang out with and shared our common bond of Jesus with as we were walking or eating (they love to eat! :) or just hanging out and talking. And that somehow more accurately describes the new family of believers that I have found myself in here in the States.
I had the hardest time after I came back from Uganda feeling like I would ever fit into a fellowship ever again here in the States because I felt like I left my true one back in Uganda. Here it is hard to find a group of young people that a relentlessly dedicated to God, and also dedicated to one another. Plus, lets face it: that is a ridiculously intimidating group for a person to try and enter. I have had lots of struggles in my life over the last several years and I felt like coming into a group like that they would be able to see clear through me and see all the nastiness that had been my past. There's no way that they could love me, or if they could, it would be after passing judgement on me as being a fallen sinner and a baby Christian in need of lots of "mentoring". That frankly, scared me to death!
All that being said... I finally let myself take the plunge and discovered that I loved the waters. They bring life and healing and laughter to my soul every single day! (I should footnote here a couple of beautiful ladies that really loved me into the fellowship, but honestly God was also working pretty hard core on my heart as well.)
I've been going to Vintage Faith for probably over a year now. At first it was only every other Sunday morning because of work and stuff. Then last fall I decided to start going to the Vintage Faith Students group. I'm not a student and haven't been a student for a little while. Honestly, its a little strange sometimes being so old in comparison to everyone else, but its cool. I mean, I'm pretty used to being the older sister everywhere I go. Haha! Then after loosing my job last December, I was able to start coming to Vintage all the time, and got even more involved in house churches, VFS, and just hanging out with the brothers and sisters. Its been amazing and soooooooo encouraging, and I can't imagine now what my life would be like without them all!
So back in February, after being asked by a sister, and some serious thought and prayer, I decided to take another plunge and live in community this fall. Its been a long 2 years living by myself. Sometimes its good, and very definitely sometimes its really, really terrible. Both for my own walk with the Lord, and for the intense depression and loneliness that it sometimes has the ability to thrust upon me. The way that community works with VFS is that everything gets shared in common. Clothes and jewelry and food and space and chores all become everybody's. Which is cool, but also intimidating. Lots of people have really bad roommate experiences that stem from other people using "their" stuff. Here is a brand new concept, as we seek lay down things as "my" stuff and become "our" stuff. If you come into a new situation with that sort of mindset, it completely changes the outcome of positive and negative experiences.
Fast forward to August 1st. I moved into an apartment that will eventually house me and 4 other girls. Can I just say for a moment how hard it is to cram an entire 2 bedroom apartment's worth of stuff into one small bedroom? Talk about difficult to nearly impossible. Why do I have so much STUFF??? Do I really need all this? I find more and more that I am turned off by the very idea of obtaining anything else to add to my already overflowing little hobbit hole. I got rid of a bunch of old clothes and old childhood treasures, sent a 2 foot tall pile of old school papers to recycling, donated a full box of school supplies to my parents' homeschool, had to give away several pieces of furniture, and its still cramped in my room! Haha... that means I'm blessed I guess! The nice thing is that my ceilings are tall so I just keep stacking things and eventually it'll all fit! My roommates were incredibly gracious and allowed most of my living room furniture to grace our new living room. So the the crazy red couch had to go back out the 2nd floor window that it came in when I moved into my last apartment, but thankfully this apartment is on the ground floor so it sits proudly in our living room splashes its colorfulness around.
All my kitchen stuff is stashed away in the kitchen and it feels like home already... minus the wall-hangings that desperately need to be put up! :)
Now I am finally ready to settle in for the semester and not be stressed (though somehow I have this inkling that the busy is going to stay at the same level.) ;)
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