Readin', 'Ritin', and Redneckery

I found this list that I had started some time ago, and since it was amusing, I thought I would share it with you! :)

You know you might be redneck if:

(these are all true stories by the way)

You watch Duck Dynasty religiously

You dream about your new pair of combat boots

Your last date was older than your mom's cousin's

Your waiter hits on you by asking how you chipped your front tooth

You call your ex to get your ratchet set back and get invited to his wedding

You are a girl and you own full ratchet and wrench sets in standard and metric units
(and use them to fix your car in random parking lots after weddings, while wearing a white silk shirt and 4 inch heels…)

You can load a shotgun faster than you can lace your boots

You can pull off the flannel shirt, bandana, and holey jeans look 

When someone says they need something, you are like, "We can build that."

You have affectionately named your gun and clean her more often than your room

You have an intense desire to make millions of things out of old pallets

You own clothing items with hunting patterns or the words "Cabella's" or "Bass Pro" on them

You can cook a 5 course meal over a campfire using a cereal bowl and a cookie sheet

You've removed a tick from every imaginable body part

You've made a patch for your muffler before using old sheet metal and hose clamps

The only settings that work on your car are full blast or not at all: heater, windshield wipers, headlights, or acceleration