The Fleece

So when Gideon wasn't really completely convinced that God wanted him to go up against this whole army... he did this little experiment. He put a lambs skin out on the front lawn overnight and told God, if its dry, and there's dew on the ground then that's what I'm supposed to do. But then he got kinda wishy-washy with that... and decided the next night he would tell God if there's dew on the fleece and not on the ground then I'll for sure know! Well after two nights of extreme weather which left exactly the same signs that he had asked for, Gideon had no choice but to take God at His word, the way he should have all along!
Now I know its a "depraved generation that demands a sign" but that much being said... wouldn't it be a lot easier if God always gave it to us in neon sky writing? You know, so everyone around you could see it too? Well, unfortunately He doesn't always. But one thing I have found. When I am particularly stumped about which road He wants me to take, sometimes I'll start down both paths at once. And then I give Him the fleece challenge.
The Fleece Challenge for me doesn't mean that I am challenging God. (i'm not usually THAT stupid) It simply means that I am human, and being such, sometimes I don't trust my heart to interpret what God is saying to me, especially heard over the cries of my own heart. Now I know that God has fashioned and molded my heart for Africa. Problem is, I don't know when or what for exactly. Then things like loosing my job come along and I look at my bank account and wonder if I could swing it... So I do the fleece challenge. Is God really setting me up to where I have less holding me back? Or is this just a stepping stone along the way? In the end it comes down to... Do I go or stay?
So I fill out applications and send resumes for both. And then I wait. And wait. And wait some more on God and His timing, which we all know is much better than ours ever has been! And dang, I hate waiting, but there's no getting around it! So I pray a lot, and God and I hash over all the pros and cons of everything and I tell Him all the fears that I have about each situation, and just deliver then to His feet, and then I wait some more.
This time the answer came in the form of a job offer. Its this side of the ocean. My heart sank a little. I wanted the job, yes. But I was also excited for what God would have for me if He gave me the other one. The adventures just seemed bigger. (They probably aren't.) And the possible joys seemed greater. (they probably aren't either.) I know a couple people who will be relieved. I feel undecidedly at peace right now about it. We'll see how long that lasts! ;)