Something to Remember

"My heart lives in so many places. With so many people. But God whispers to me that I really have only one home, and that is with Him. I will never be content on this earth. I will always be a nomad. It was meant to be that way. My heart was created with a desire for a home, a nest, a sanctuary, and that can be found only with Him in heaven. And I will continue bouncing from one home to another, loving with everything I have in whatever location I currently reside, excitedly awaiting the day when I am called heavenward and He says to me, "Welcome Home." "  --Katie Davis (Kisses from Katie)

Set a Fire Down in My Soul

this and "Higher" from Lecrae's new album "Gravity" have been really on my heart this morning. Enjoy!

Truths

Truths that I've been reminded of this last week:

Conviction is from God; guilt is from the devil.

When it comes to the workings of God in our lives, don't be expecting, be expectant.
And come to think of it... isn't everything a working of God in our lives?

Your sanctification is ultimately a matter of:
* what God has done (past tense) and not what you are doing. When God looks at you, the fundamental thing is not how you have lived your life this last week, but that Christ's blood has already sanctified you.
*identity and not behavior. You first have to have an understanding of what Christ has done for you... then you start acting like it!
*God's will and not your worth. You are not here because you are such a wonderful or deserving person. Don't forget it! Don't get it twisted! You have not disappointed God; He chose you.
*belonging and not isolation. You have a Father, you are a part of a family. Quit feeling like you are out on the periphery with no way to get an in with God or His people because you aren't good enough. You are in.
*boasting in Christ and not yourself. Its all about Christ and nothing to do with you. Are you feeling not good enough? Well, duh! You aren't good enough! If you were there would be no reason for Christ and the cross would be emptied of its power! You need as Savior because you are not good enough.

God uses the weak things of this world to shame the strong. He uses the foolish things of this world to shame the wise. He uses even me, believe it or not!

I've Seen (You sustain)

(i've been reading ecclesiates. obviously.)

Under the sun I've seen
More than once...

A lovely young lady be taken too soon
Perhaps preventable
Leaving helpless lives behind,
A precious young life snuffed out
Before it was given a chance
No first breath ever came,
Beloved Godly grandparents die
Vanishing into thin veils of the people they were
Their bodies ravished by disease,
Relationships hit rough waters
Though both parties knew You
Still hearts were hurt,

I've seen faithful servants suffer

With no way to put food on the table
Their prayers never faltering.

Yet I know what the great king never knew...

And somehow the assurance
"God would not inflict pain thus on all His children,
He knows whom He may trust,"
Is both enough to know and too little
Balm for the ache in my heart
For those whose lives touch mine
No matter in how little ways.
Yet I know You are faithful, You are still good.
Your strength is more than enough for me.
Your grace is sufficient.

No matter what I've seen
I know You've seen worse
And You'll sustain me like You have them.
There is nothing and no one else.
Basically You are the be all and end all.
I need not know how or why
I need only know that You love me

And that Love makes all the difference.
Because of it I might swim rivers
Though I fear their depths
And my very core panics at the thought
As my toes slip from their shaky hold
In a mighty rush into the stream's current
I know You hold me afloat
Nothing may hold me under
The pressure thrusting air
From already weakened lungs
I find You become my breath in those times.

I've seen, under the sun
More than once...

A beautiful weathered face walk
Gracefully to the shores of death
Pause not for a looking back
At this Sodom and Gomorrah that earth becomes
And that look of peace as they see their Savior;
And I've seen God heal and restore
Relationships that, reasonably,
No one would have given hope
Love lives once more
Where only desolation had set up home;
I've seen You come through
Needs met in the nick of time
And daily bread never lacking
As Your saints hit their knees
Growing stronger with their testimonies;
And the joy of that cry
As for the first time
The contented infant sits in her arms
Cradled in a mother's love
And she knows more of Your love for her's.

And I've seen You
More than once...
Over and over
In fact
Prove Yourself faithful
Show Yourself powerful
Love perfectly
Strengthen completely
Be sufficient
Just enough.

I've seen You sustain.

Me, Jesus, Chicken, and IceCream

Is it weird that I am really getting into the book of Job recently? I just REALLY like it! I've been keeping up (fairly well) with the reading through the Bible in a year readings, and this last week we have entered the strange, and rather fantastical world of Job. Its a crazy story really. Here's this guy just walking along minding his own business and trying to do right and God's really blessed him. I mean, he has his shortcomings as a father obviously... whenever his kids get together to party he knows them well enough to fast and pray for them! (although my dad confessed a strange urge to do this at times when us kids get together too! but I think that's mostly because we tend to get a lil' rambunctious!)
As I often read my verses while I am at work, I get a lot of time to think about them, and not much time to journal on them, so sometimes I make a mental note to come back to a verse or passage later in the day.

The other night I did it in style.
Me, Jesus, popcorn chicken, and reese's ice cream atop the Cico Park hill.
The vast expanse of Kansas sky littered with shape-shifting clouds and the fading colors of a late summer's eve. It was essentially a small piece of heaven.
(I'm pretty sure in heaven there is manna that tastes like chicken...)

Anyway, as I have been reading in Job I can't help but coming back the person of Jesus all the time! I mean this was completely before Christ's time and yet every other word out of their mouths is riddled with the desire to have an arbitrator between them and God. (which for us... is namely Chirst!) Sometimes when I am reading this I really wonder to myself how much I really neglect to desire Christ in this way. That I forget how desperately I need someone to step between me and God and say, "Hey, look Man, I vouch for this one. She's with me." Its only through the amazing sacrifice of Christ's perfect life that I even have the chance to approach God and even dare to feel that I am able to talk to Him without fear and trepidation and mind-numbing quaking and completely and utterly being scared to death of being consumed with brimstone and fire! Yes, God came down and talked to Job, but Job never had the chance to experience the complete freedom with God that we have through Christ.
I think that sometimes I take that for granted. I fail to realize how really wonderfully I have it that I can know for certain that God does accept the peace offering that makes me right with Him. And I have complete freedom to run and jump in His lap, cuddle in His arms, and spill all my stupid little girl worries and joys. Knowing full well that He gathers them all with parental fondness and cherishes me and my silly, often stupid, completely immature, and sometimes dangerously fragile little heart.

I am sooooooo blessed.

I wish I could express how much.

homesick again

living your life with a heart that's torn in two
is a difficult thing to make yourself do.
in love with a life never thought to be mine
yet finding a nook here where i fit just fine.
and how do you choose two families between?
can i help but miss the one i've not seen?
moments of sunshine follow moments of pain
so i limp through the heat and dance through the rain.
someday God's plan in clear light i'll see
and no longer wonder what He schemes for me.
then in glorious freedom, no shred of doubt
at last i'll boldly and joyfully sing out
and i think i may wonder why sooner i haven't
dropped this burden at the feet of a Love this ardent.

A Day Off

Well what would you do with a day off? I sat around the house and was largely unproductive for most of mine. I blame part of that on the fact that I was so insanely productive yesterday. See, I also had a day off yesterday, and I got all my various errands done then, so I haven't had any pressing issues to worry about.
I woke up late. Not terribly late though. I used to sleep in until noon, but somehow since I moved to my new apartment I haven't really been able to. The latest that I've "slept in" has been closer to 0830. I know, that's not really considered sleeping in to some of your fortunate late risers, but to me who is used to getting up at 0600 on the dot (okay, maybe not on the dot, I utilize my snooze button a lot)... Anyway, it is sleeping in to me, even though its nothing like the nooners I used to pull.
I did however plan (and I use that word "plan" very loosely; I'll explain why) how to arrange the pictures in my living room of my new apartment. Not really sure why, when, or how I got started on this interior decorating kick, but I really love it. I've had several people tell me that I should have gone into it full time. And if I'm very honest with myself, that's honestly what I would have done if I hadn't met this amazing person named Jesus. Anyway, I put together a few loose sketches of what I think would be cool on the walls, but my roommates all get veto power, so we'll see what actually ends up being displayed.
I also got in a recipe kick. Initially I was just trying to find something to cook for supper, after telling my roommate I would have something ready for her when she got home. I had a few ideas, but they would have to involve the still very frozen chicken from our fridge. So I started looking up recipes for some of the more interesting contents of our refrigerator.
My roommates are all amazing and great girls, and I love them... but lets just say our grocery shopping is a little disjointed. There was a bunch of kale, blueberries, apples, spinach, tortillas, coconut milk, a little bit of hamburger, hashbrowns, and lemons. Now maybe you immediately see a menu in there, but I was having trouble. The freezer was not much help either. The chicken was frozen and there were dinosaur chicken nuggets (see, I said it was eclectic! What are we 9?), and a few frozen veggies, tilapia, and icy pops (again, 9?). Really the cupboards weren't that much better. Canned chicken and tuna (maybe this is terrible of me, but I've never cooked with canned chicken and it kinda creeps me out!), quinoa, brown rice, mac n' cheese, and few cereals.
Well of course the obvious menu would be chicken nuggets with mac n' cheese and an icy pop, but this seemed juvenile and frankly, since I had told her that I would actually cook, seemed like a bit of a cop out. So I dutifully took to the internet looking up what I could make with kale, spinach, and quinoa.
Yes, of course, you my smart blogger saw what I did there! I just took the healthiest things out of that pantry and used them to make my dinner! Actually in the end, I didn't end up using the kale, but I did find a whole bunch of recipes for kale and spinach that I really want to use in the very near future! One of those times that you thank God for Pintrest, so you can save those recipe links for later without cluttering up your bookmark tab on your browser.
So all that to say that I found a recipe for a quinoa spinach quiche that you bake in a muffin tin. Right up my alley! It turned out a little dry cause I tried to keep it warm until my roommate got home, but generally its pretty good, and it feels good to eat things that you know are good for you. Granted I might have made biscuits to go along with it, but I coupled that with some peaches and clementines for a simply lovely meal topped off by a large glass of water!