Okay, I know this world is not an easy place for us ladies these days. Between what the world tells us to dress like and trying to still look fashionably relevant there is a tremendously fine balance. But seriously ladies... It is time to up the anti!
One thing about Ugandans is that they really like to dress up. Even your taxi or boda driver may wear a suit. But when it comes to the ladies.... Ohhhh my goodness.... Can we just have a sit down talk real fast?
A. Ladies, I realize your skin is dark and you think that things don't show because of this fact... However, this does not, I repeat NOT, give you license to wear sheer shirts with nothing underneath. I will give you the benefit of the doubt if you're power went your as you were dressing this morning and you honestly didn't know how bad this looks, but judging from the quality/quantity of makeup applied, I think this applies to very few of you. Style up ladies... And cover up!
B. Then there is this fad of wearing leggings. Now before you jump down my throat about this because i too wear leggings, let me just say that i actually like them. When used properly, i find them a welcome relief to well covered dressing. So, when are they worn improperly? Any time that your kabina becomes an object of attention. Period. Or as they say in Uganda, full stop.
C. When you go to put on a dress or skirt on the morning, please do a check in the mirror and ask yourself, "have I selected the proper undergarments for this attire?" Almost all dresses or skirts should be worn with accompanying petticoats unless they are very well lined and please make sure that you aren't sporting lines from whatever is below your petticoat! You know what i'm talking about and you've all seen it happen. Please don't make the fatal mistake that so many women seem to make: if you are showing lines don't wear less... Wear more! This is no time for scanty panties or going commando. This ois the time to buy a bigger size or a less clingy material. Just do it ladies!
D. This brings us to the gentlemen.... Oh gentlemen... First of all, we've said this so many times but the fact remains: no one wants to see your boxers peeping. If this means you need to invest in longer than your-little-bros-muscle-shirt shirts... Then please, for the love of all that is pure in this world, do it!
E. Next, stop wearing our skinny jeans! Anything that is not a relaxed fit through the butt and thighs should not be worn by a guy. For OBVIOUS reasons! Please leave some things to our imagination. I have been telling guys this for years, but somehow I keep having to reiterate it as they seem to be very persistent in commuting this fashion sin/eyesore.
F. Now, perhaps a word of praise? Okay... Ladies, especially ladies of Kampala: thank you for wearing dresses. You have restored my faith in my own ability to wear a skirt comfortably. I love the way so many women in Kampala have taken the effort to have well made, well fitted dresses, especially in traditional African fabrics. It warms my heart to see the pride with which they display their own identities. So wear that katenge proudly sisters. You look stunning!
G. Gentlemen, never, and I mean never, underestimate the power and attraction of a well fitted suit. This is not just Barney talking here, I truly mean it. Of course, if you would like to wear a sweatervest instead... I will also heartily approve! (As long as it's not the ugly Christmas sweater variety) For the guys that are already practicing this, kudos!
Thus ends my fashion advice/rant for today. Tune in next time as I talk about natural hair, treated hair, dredlocks, and braids!
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