I should be...

I really should be:
writing notecards to help me study for my NCLEX-RN...
but another nursing license is overrated right? So I figures out that the reason that it really ticks me off that I have yet to pass it is that I really feel like I put in a lot of effort on going to school for this, and I did fairly well in class. Even excellent on some of my assignments... and yet for the state of Kansas to tell me that I really don't know what I am doing really peeves me because its a personal attack... on my pride.
Pride is something I have struggled with for years. I think originally it kinda came from this false sense of having to fend for myself. Not that I really did. Just that I thought I had to in order to not be a burden on anybody in my family. You have to understand that my house was always busy, though not hectic, and there was always someone younger than me that needed attended to for as long as I can remember. Somewhere along the line I decided that I would just look after #1 myself. This bred a long and not very fruitful line of thinking in which I didn't need anyone else but myself to succeed. As you can, I'm sure, guess... this does not lend itself very well to human relationships. And yes, if you act like you never need anything from anyone else you often may find that you are stronger than you thought. But you may also find that you are lonelier than you thought.
This pretty much can translate into any sector of your life. I don't need the other people in my class -- therefore I hate group projects and feel devastated when, since I didn't do all of it, we get points counted off on our presentation. I don't need my parents input or assistance -- I struggle through school at my own place completely broke and barely struggling from paycheck to paycheck. I don't need to depend on friends -- relationships are shallow, or I end up being the therapist to my friends, while never letting them know that I am also weak. I don't need a Savior every day -- this is probably the MOST dangerous and potential fatal one, because if I think I don't need a Savior every day, that I can get through on my own good works, then I am headed straight for failure, and potentially hell.
So like any potentially fatal drug, I've got a good antidote: Humility. The big question is, how do we go about attaining this in our lives? more thoughts on this to come...