Writing...

So, I really haven't written much on here in gosh, who knows how long! It's actually quite pathetic!! But I have made a new pact to get better and try and post more often and not leave so many loose threads all just jumbled around in my head instead of out here on paper...
So that much being said, I really am not sure how much of what is really going on in my life and experience can be transferred to this blog for general reading purposes... Well, you might have guessed it by now... but its all relationships right now!
Guess I never was much of a girl for relationships in general... I have always shied away from as much involvement as possible with other people... I am in fact, by nature, an introvert! But then there is this problem that I have... See I am kinda intimately connected with a God that actually is an extreme extrovert. Yeah, He is very concerned with us living to His name, renown, and glory, but... He also calls us to love in the ways that He loved... giving away very life for the sake and love of others.
Yeah, jaw dropper... cause how am I of all people, supposed to love like that?? What kind of complete and total abandon to love for others would that entail? And might I not get hurt?
Ahh, so now we have hit on the real fear here!! The possibility... no almost certainty... that when you allow your heart to be invested in another fallen human being (and their hearts are desperately wicked above all else) they will take it and break it... if not cut it out with a chainsaw... snip it with kitchen shears, burn it with their lighter, stomp it into the ground, and then add insult to injury by spitting on it!
Yeah, I know I am rather dark... but the fact remains... He asks us to still love them.
Despite their unlovableness, despite the fact that they have hurt us in the past, looking beyond their shallowness, delving deep into their heart and taking a small peek at what Christ sees when He looks at them, and then loving them... perfectly... with Christ's love.
Because you know that on our own strength we have absolutely no power to conjure up this kind of love that will allow itself to suffer and still remain. It's only through Christ's unconditional love that I can keep going through the everyday with people who hurt me, or neglect me, or strain and stress me... and to look at them still with love and say, "It's okay, I've got broad shoulders; I can take it." And proceed to love them still.
And I won't say that Christ's love always fills me, or makes it so that I always feel the love that I should have in my heart for them. But in my weakness, He shows His strength. And I may fail, but He remains faithful. Its still a struggle, but we all have to make continual little decisions to purpose to love those around us in a way that gives all, loves beyond limits, stretches past our prejudices, sees through shortcomings, and reaches out our hearts even when they are bound to get hurt. It's the love of Christ; we can pursue no less.